A new report from a Planned Parenthood watchdog finds chapters of the Komen Race for the Cure breast cancer group gave affiliates of the national abortion business over $700,000 last fiscal year. The enormous amount should be a red flag to pro-life advocates, one leading activist says.
Figures from STOPP International show Komen chapters giving $711,485 from April 1, 2005 to March 31, 2006 to Planned Parenthood affiliates.
Jim Sedlak, a representative of the watchdog group says the numbers are concerning given than millions of pro-life Americans will participate in Komen events during the month.
"More and more people are speaking up about the fact that Susan G. Komen for the Cure, a breast cancer research foundation, supports Planned Parenthood," Sedlak told LifeNews.com on Wednesday.
He pointed to studies showing abortion increases a woman's chances of contracting breast cancer and said that makes the donations extremely questionable.
"The fact that Komen Affiliates give money to Planned Parenthood contradicts Komen’s claim that it works to end breast cancer," Sedlak said. "This is ridiculous and must stop."
Sedlak urged pro-life advocates to disassociate themselves with any Komen events until the organization's affiliates stop giving money to the abortion business.
He also urged pro-life people to make Planned Parenthood's pro-abortion mission clear to Komen officials and event participants.
He called Planned Parenthood "an organization that kills babies, exploits women, corrupts youth and increases the likelihood of breast cancer by promoting contraception and abortion."
The amount of the grants from Komen affiliates to Planned Parenthood appears to be on the rise and 25 Komen affiliates now have a partnership with the abortion business.
Susan G. Komen for the Cure spokeswoman Rebecca Gibson previously confirmed hat 19 of the 122 Komen affiliates made grants totaling $374,253 to Planned Parenthood during the 2005-2006 fiscal year.
Komen officials have dismissed the grants saying they are for breast cancer screenings, but pro-life advocates say the money is fungible and that it frees up funds Planned Parenthood could use for breast screenings but instead uses on abortions.
The Catholic Diocese of Lafayette has asked parishioners there to refrain from participating the march and, last month, the St. Louis Archdiocese asked people to boycott the event.
In November 2006, the Phoenix, Arizona diocese asked parishioners to tell Komen to stop giving money to Planned Parenthood.
"Some will argue the grant is earmarked for areas other than abortion or contraception, so the affiliation between the organizations is inconsequential," Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted said of the Komen grants to Planned Parenthood.
"But the sad reality is that the grant money now frees up Planned Parenthood funds for those other areas opposing life and counter to our Catholic faith," he explained.
The Komen grants to Planned Parenthood prompted medical research analyst and Hispanic outreach director Eve Sanchez Silver to resign from her leadership position within Komen.
Silver eventually had a meeting with Komen officials about their grants and abortion's link with breast cancer.
"SGK officials did not appear to have knowledge of simple breast facts," Silver said in a statement LifeNews.com received.
Silver explained that the breast is an organ that is not mature at birth and SGK officials appeared to be surprised to learn that the breast does not become fully mature until after 32 weeks of pregnancy.
As a result of that state of development, interruption of pregnancy via an abortion before 32 weeks leaves breast cells exposed to estrogen, which is highly carcinogenic.
She indicated the Komen representatives also appeared to be "more concerned about assisting women after they had contracted breast cancer, than informing them to avoid breast cancer risk by avoiding abortions and having [an] early, full term pregnancy."
"This is an appalling lack of concern for the women the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation is supposed to be helping," Silver added.
Donations during the 2006-2007 fiscal year from Komen affiliates to Planned Parenthood abortion businesses include:
December 29, 2010
December 28, 2010
"Turkey Hunt"
this video has my whole family cracking up!
When the "turkey" is "shot" and the "hunter" tackles him OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
December 27, 2010
not much
Just trudging right along to the end of the year with not much exciting happening.
I am following the doctor's orders with charting my temps and have my day 3 blood work done. I will start the OPKs this week and have day 21 blood work next week. After I get that done I will call and make an appointment to see him for a follow up and meds. I started Zoloft and ended it after 3 days. I felt like I was on a major caffeine rush! Did not sleep but 2-3 hours the 3 nights I took it and could not stop shaking and speed talking. Never felt so bad. :( I am also having pain and joint popping in my left hip where the ectopic was. I think it is scar tissue or maybe just "memory pain". Hubby thinks it is my hip protesting the weight I have added this year. He is probably right. We will be starting T-Tapp this week so that should help.
We totally enjoyed doing Hanukkah this year instead of Christmas! We found it much more relaxing. No rushing to buy presents or cook or get up the tons of decorations I used to do. Just light new candles each night and thank God for the miracles He does for us...truly a restful holiday. We did go to my Mom's home in Oklahoma and do Christmas with her. 12 hours of driving and 3 days of barely having time to visit but is was so good to be up there and see her and my family. :)
This will be our last restful week til summer time I think. Hubby will be teaching full time at IEC in a week most likely. We need to look for a new truck for him in Jan as we can't cut it being a one car family. Hubby will become part owner of the company he works for in just days! :) The kids and I have doctor's appointments and I get contacts in a few weeks. The girls should be winding down their school year in March or so for the oldest and May for the middle. Since we are having ahorrible mild winter (it should not be in the 70-80s in DECEMBER!) we are going to clean out storage and attic just need to decide if we are donating the stuff or trying for a garage sale. Our area doesn't do well for garage sales and I am not hauling it to a friend's yard like we did last yr just wasn't worth it. And this year with tax return we really want to finish up with remodeling our home.
I am following the doctor's orders with charting my temps and have my day 3 blood work done. I will start the OPKs this week and have day 21 blood work next week. After I get that done I will call and make an appointment to see him for a follow up and meds. I started Zoloft and ended it after 3 days. I felt like I was on a major caffeine rush! Did not sleep but 2-3 hours the 3 nights I took it and could not stop shaking and speed talking. Never felt so bad. :( I am also having pain and joint popping in my left hip where the ectopic was. I think it is scar tissue or maybe just "memory pain". Hubby thinks it is my hip protesting the weight I have added this year. He is probably right. We will be starting T-Tapp this week so that should help.
We totally enjoyed doing Hanukkah this year instead of Christmas! We found it much more relaxing. No rushing to buy presents or cook or get up the tons of decorations I used to do. Just light new candles each night and thank God for the miracles He does for us...truly a restful holiday. We did go to my Mom's home in Oklahoma and do Christmas with her. 12 hours of driving and 3 days of barely having time to visit but is was so good to be up there and see her and my family. :)
This will be our last restful week til summer time I think. Hubby will be teaching full time at IEC in a week most likely. We need to look for a new truck for him in Jan as we can't cut it being a one car family. Hubby will become part owner of the company he works for in just days! :) The kids and I have doctor's appointments and I get contacts in a few weeks. The girls should be winding down their school year in March or so for the oldest and May for the middle. Since we are having a
December 20, 2010
what the Dr says this time
The good- the ENDO's testing shows NO tumor on the adrenal gland! All the tests on my adrenals are in normal range.
The bad- that means we are no closer to knowing why I feel the way I do. now I wait 6 mo for a recheck of thyroid and adrenals
The good- seeing a new OBGYN and he feels that "just because my hormones are in the normal range doesn't mean they are in the right amounts at the right times". this is causing some of the issues in his opinion.
The bad- this means I am starting "Infertility testing". today I am cycle day 3 and must go get blood work. more blood work on cd 21. back to basal body temping which drives me nuts and use OPKs to see if I am ovulating. then send it all in at the end of this cycle for him to look at.
the good- he thinks beginning to use some simple meds next cycle should straighten things out. he also thinks once this is worked out there is no reason I can not conceive and carry a baby
The bad- that means we are no closer to knowing why I feel the way I do. now I wait 6 mo for a recheck of thyroid and adrenals
The good- seeing a new OBGYN and he feels that "just because my hormones are in the normal range doesn't mean they are in the right amounts at the right times". this is causing some of the issues in his opinion.
The bad- this means I am starting "Infertility testing". today I am cycle day 3 and must go get blood work. more blood work on cd 21. back to basal body temping which drives me nuts and use OPKs to see if I am ovulating. then send it all in at the end of this cycle for him to look at.
the good- he thinks beginning to use some simple meds next cycle should straighten things out. he also thinks once this is worked out there is no reason I can not conceive and carry a baby
December 15, 2010
13
Last Sunday we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary! Our children stayed with some wonderful friends for the whole weekend... our first anniversary without them... a bit strange for us.
Anyways, due to some work stuff we stayed at home instead of travelling to the TX Hill Country. We ordered in pizza and caught up on our favorite TV shows online to unwind the first night. On Saturday we slept in for the first time in forever! Then headed out shopping and bought new wedding bands and the Chris Tomlin CD "Our God" (one of our favorite songs.) We had lunch at Applebee's, did some window shopping and ending up watching Narnia 3 in 3D and more walking the mall and shopping. Can you tell we never get out to a mall without the ankle biters in tow?! hehe!!! Sunday we slept in again and missed church. We went to lunch at Babe's Chicken in a town about an hour away and hauled some stuff to storage before picking up the wee ones and heading home.
Sounds boring all typed out.
It wasn't!
Anyways, due to some work stuff we stayed at home instead of travelling to the TX Hill Country. We ordered in pizza and caught up on our favorite TV shows online to unwind the first night. On Saturday we slept in for the first time in forever! Then headed out shopping and bought new wedding bands and the Chris Tomlin CD "Our God" (one of our favorite songs.) We had lunch at Applebee's, did some window shopping and ending up watching Narnia 3 in 3D and more walking the mall and shopping. Can you tell we never get out to a mall without the ankle biters in tow?! hehe!!! Sunday we slept in again and missed church. We went to lunch at Babe's Chicken in a town about an hour away and hauled some stuff to storage before picking up the wee ones and heading home.
Sounds boring all typed out.
It wasn't!
December 10, 2010
decisions decisions
What should we do--
A- blow out anniversary weekend. first one ALONE in 13 yrs
B- finish the flooring the front part of the house so we could like have people over and NOT stare at the hole in the floor
C- get me an Iphone cause Hubby has one and I am jealous
D- save $$$. be boring all weekend like normal and complain that we never do anything different or fun
Ps- the children will be gone for the whole weekend no matter what :) getting to enjoy time with one of my favorite midwives and her hubby
A- blow out anniversary weekend. first one ALONE in 13 yrs
B- finish the flooring the front part of the house so we could like have people over and NOT stare at the hole in the floor
C- get me an Iphone cause Hubby has one and I am jealous
D- save $$$. be boring all weekend like normal and complain that we never do anything different or fun
Ps- the children will be gone for the whole weekend no matter what :) getting to enjoy time with one of my favorite midwives and her hubby
smashed baked sweet taters
3 c sweet taters- boiled, drained, mashed
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 c sugar
1/2 c melted butter
mix taters, sugar, vanilla and melted butter and eggs. beat until fluffy. place in a buttered casserole dish. mix topping to crumb stage and sprinkle on top. bake 30 min at 350
topping
1 c brown sugar
1/3 c flour
4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 - 1 c chopped nuts
1/3 c butter (NOT melted)
marshmallows (OPTIONAL. I sprinkle just marshmallows and some brown sugar on one end for those that don't eat nuts and mix nuts and marshmallows for everyone else on the rest of the pan)
even the die hard "I hate sweet taters" people in my house WILL eat this!
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs
1 c sugar
1/2 c melted butter
mix taters, sugar, vanilla and melted butter and eggs. beat until fluffy. place in a buttered casserole dish. mix topping to crumb stage and sprinkle on top. bake 30 min at 350
topping
1 c brown sugar
1/3 c flour
4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 - 1 c chopped nuts
1/3 c butter (NOT melted)
marshmallows (OPTIONAL. I sprinkle just marshmallows and some brown sugar on one end for those that don't eat nuts and mix nuts and marshmallows for everyone else on the rest of the pan)
even the die hard "I hate sweet taters" people in my house WILL eat this!
December 9, 2010
Life lesson in the McD's parking lot
The other day Hubby had to take his work truck to one of his guys. I was to follow him and give him a ride home. Hubby left first and thought I was right behind him but Bub would not buckle up so by the time I got going I had lost him. A quick phone call and I headed to the local McD's to wait.
I pulled into a parking spot out front so I could watch for Hubby and noticed someone in the car next to me. Life was happening in my car full of cranky hungry kids who thought we were there to eat so I paid little attention to the person. Soon another car pulled up on the other side of us and caught my attention. I didn't like sitting in the dark between 2 cars with people not heading inside so I was on alert.
What I saw was crushing.
It broke my heart and gave me great pause.
It wasn't violence or filth.
It was raw human emotion.
I was watching a "child swap" between separated parents. Luggage, car seats, holidays gifts and decor moved between the cars. My truck engine and radio were on so I didn't hear the conversation but from the body language I could tell it was tense. Finally things were loaded and it was time to transfer the children. The oldest was first, probably not much younger than Bub, quickly bundled, moved to the car seat and strapped in. The second child, maybe 1 or 2 yrs old if that, clung to the parent that brought them to this place. Tears and sobbing pleas to stay with that parent filled my truck over the noise inside.
My children took notice.
Soon placed into car seats and kissed goodbye both of the kids were crying. A tense hug and the parents returned to their cars with the one now shuttling the children speeding off into the darkness. The parent left behind, the one the child clung to and cried so much for, got in the car and cranked the engine. Then the raw emotions hit and sobbing heartbreak shook the vehicle.
My children and I watched in silence.
Quickly realizing eyes were watching the person gathered composure. A desperate look shot our way and the car was gone.
I began to pray for the family in that parking lot.
I prayed for my family.
Slowly my girls started to ask questions.
"Why did they swap kids?"
"Why were the kids crying?"
"Why was that adult so upset?"
Bub kept asking about the kids and it they were OK. Then it turned personal as they all wondered if it could happen to them. My heart ached. I prayed for Hubby to get here NOW...this life lesson was not something I wanted to talk about alone with them.
Hubby and I have had our share of bad times and nearly calling it quits. This very scene is what kept us from leaving when we being too stubborn to admit we really love each other. I grew up in a broken home and vowed I would never do it to my kids. I knew this so easily could have been us if not for God.
But this lesson was deeper than just being caught in the middle of marriage tragedy. God was showing me how we over look the pain and suffering going on around us all the time. We sit in our protective bubble, trying to drown out the pain of others with the noise of the world, knowing we should help but just letting the moment pass by while we watch from comfort and safety.
I wonder if I should have done something. Should I have asked the last parent there if I could pray for them. Would it have been seen as bold and comforting or rude and intrusive?
I will never know.
My heart aches.
I pulled into a parking spot out front so I could watch for Hubby and noticed someone in the car next to me. Life was happening in my car full of cranky hungry kids who thought we were there to eat so I paid little attention to the person. Soon another car pulled up on the other side of us and caught my attention. I didn't like sitting in the dark between 2 cars with people not heading inside so I was on alert.
What I saw was crushing.
It broke my heart and gave me great pause.
It wasn't violence or filth.
It was raw human emotion.
I was watching a "child swap" between separated parents. Luggage, car seats, holidays gifts and decor moved between the cars. My truck engine and radio were on so I didn't hear the conversation but from the body language I could tell it was tense. Finally things were loaded and it was time to transfer the children. The oldest was first, probably not much younger than Bub, quickly bundled, moved to the car seat and strapped in. The second child, maybe 1 or 2 yrs old if that, clung to the parent that brought them to this place. Tears and sobbing pleas to stay with that parent filled my truck over the noise inside.
My children took notice.
Soon placed into car seats and kissed goodbye both of the kids were crying. A tense hug and the parents returned to their cars with the one now shuttling the children speeding off into the darkness. The parent left behind, the one the child clung to and cried so much for, got in the car and cranked the engine. Then the raw emotions hit and sobbing heartbreak shook the vehicle.
My children and I watched in silence.
Quickly realizing eyes were watching the person gathered composure. A desperate look shot our way and the car was gone.
I began to pray for the family in that parking lot.
I prayed for my family.
Slowly my girls started to ask questions.
"Why did they swap kids?"
"Why were the kids crying?"
"Why was that adult so upset?"
Bub kept asking about the kids and it they were OK. Then it turned personal as they all wondered if it could happen to them. My heart ached. I prayed for Hubby to get here NOW...this life lesson was not something I wanted to talk about alone with them.
Hubby and I have had our share of bad times and nearly calling it quits. This very scene is what kept us from leaving when we being too stubborn to admit we really love each other. I grew up in a broken home and vowed I would never do it to my kids. I knew this so easily could have been us if not for God.
But this lesson was deeper than just being caught in the middle of marriage tragedy. God was showing me how we over look the pain and suffering going on around us all the time. We sit in our protective bubble, trying to drown out the pain of others with the noise of the world, knowing we should help but just letting the moment pass by while we watch from comfort and safety.
I wonder if I should have done something. Should I have asked the last parent there if I could pray for them. Would it have been seen as bold and comforting or rude and intrusive?
I will never know.
My heart aches.
***identifying details have been left out to protect the family***
strangers to me but not to God
Pumpkin Dip
4 c powdered sugar
2 (8 oz) pk cream cheese
1 (30 oz) can pumpkin pie filling
2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
combine all ingredients until well blended. (I add spice to taste and use way more than listed)
store in air tight container in the fridge. serve with fruit, graham crackers or ginger snaps
December 8, 2010
"Son-in-law" salad
a few whole pecans
1/2 pk crushed pecans
1 can crushed pineapple drained
2 small jars red cherries
2 small jars green cherries
8 oz of Cool Whip
16 oz sour cream
half pk of small marshmallows
drain all fruit, cut red cherries in halves. green cherries in quarters. set aside 10 of each color cherries. mix fruit, crushed pecans, Cool Whip, sour cream, marshmallows. pour into deep serving bowl. cover with Cool Whip and smooth top. make "flowers" on top with the cut red cherries using the green one as "leaves" and add whole pecans
this is an old family recipe on Hubby's side served every Thankgiving, Christmas or special occasion. a bit expensive but well worth it! not used as a typical "desert" but served with the meal. tangy and sweet :)
December 7, 2010
Leana's Peanut Butter Pie
1 16 oz jar of peanut butter - crunchy or smooth
1 8 oz pk softened cream cheese
3/4 c honey
1 8 oz container of Cool Whip -thawed
1 graham cracker crust or chocolate cookie crush
2 tbsp chocolate chips
1/2 tsp oil
prepare crust according to package directions. beat together cream cheese and honey until well mixed. stir in peanut butter: mix well. fold in Cool Whip gently. spoon into crust. heat chocolate chips in the microwave until melted. drizzle chocolate over pie. CHILL PIE 4 HOURS to set.
December 6, 2010
quick beef strogenoff /noodles or rice
stew meat or hamburger
1 can beef gravy
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 pk Lipton Onion Soup Dry Mix
1 can beef froth
1/2 c sour cream
1 onion diced
2 cloves of minced garlic
sliced mushrooms
brown meat. add onions, garlic, mushrooms, broth, and dry soup mix then simmer until onions are tender. add beef gravy and mushroom soup. heat on medium until thoroughly hot. add sour cream. serve over noodles or rice
December 4, 2010
what the Dr said
I spent about an hour with the ENDO on Dec 2 and he was so nice and very thorough! After reviewing my charts, taking a more detailed family history and asking me lots of questions about my symptoms that the other DRs have ignored when I was telling them my issues, he did a physical and began to explain everything.
He explained I have 2 masses (nodules) on my thyroid and that can be normal as it is a lumpy and bumpy tissue at best. However, 1 nodule is 9 mm and the "do something about it" size is 10 mm/1 cm. He wants to ultrasound the area again in 4 months and if there is change he will remove the nodules. The other nodule is only 4 mm and nothing to worry about. He gives the chance this is cancer at 10% and again he is NOT WORRIED.
The issue I have with swallowing and feeling like a pill is suck in my throat is not related to the thyroid. He explained the muscles under my jaw have spasmed like some people's lower back or neck and shoulders from tension. He suggested massage :) I knew I liked him!
My hormones are going nuts causing acne and hair growth like a man's. He is not sure why since my blood work showed normal levels of testosterone and female hormones. It is not an area of hormone troubles he deals with so I am to ask the OBGYN. Hubby plans to make that trip with me on Dec 17 so that I will not be pushed off like I have been.
He believes my main issue is my adrenal glands. I have all the signs except for the illness recovery (probably since I take herbs at the first sign of sickness)
In my physical exam he thought he may have felt something like a tumor on the adrenal gland (kidney area). He ordered a test using high powered steroids for that night with blood work in the morning. The results will tell us if there is a tumor which will require surgery. I should hear back on the test results in about a week or when I go back for my other DR visits.
He is all for finding out why I feel so bad and getting me back to normal! I am glad to have found a DR willing to listen and not just assume I am making it up or it is from my tubal ligation reversal. Also happy this DR was PRO reversal and babies. Another plus in my book :)
Of course I am off the the health food store just as soon as they open on Monday for some adrenal support herbs and cancer fighting B12 and apricot pits. More abdominal surgery is not on my list for the end of the year.
He believes my main issue is my adrenal glands. I have all the signs except for the illness recovery (probably since I take herbs at the first sign of sickness)
You may have Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome if you are experiencing some of these symptoms:
- Fatigue, lethargy:
- Lack of energy in the mornings, and also in the afternoon between 3 and 5 pm. Often feel tired between 9 and 10 pm, but resist going to bed.
- Lightheadedness (including dizziness and fainting) when rising from a sitting or laying-down position.
- Lowered blood pressure and blood sugar.
- Difficulty concentrating or remembering (brain fog).
- Consistently feeling unwell or difficulty recovering from infections.
- Craving either salty or sugary foods to keep going.
- Unexplained hair loss.
- Nausea.
- Alternating constipation and diarrhea.
- Mild depression.
- Decreased sex drive.
- Sleep difficulties.
- Unexplained pain in the upper back or neck.
- Increased symptoms of PMS for women – periods are heavy and then stop (or almost stop) on the 4th day, only to start flow again on the 5th or 6th day.
- Tendency to gain weight and inability to lose it – especially around the waist.
- High frequency of getting the flu and other respiratory diseases – plus a tendency for them to last longer than usual.
In my physical exam he thought he may have felt something like a tumor on the adrenal gland (kidney area). He ordered a test using high powered steroids for that night with blood work in the morning. The results will tell us if there is a tumor which will require surgery. I should hear back on the test results in about a week or when I go back for my other DR visits.
He is all for finding out why I feel so bad and getting me back to normal! I am glad to have found a DR willing to listen and not just assume I am making it up or it is from my tubal ligation reversal. Also happy this DR was PRO reversal and babies. Another plus in my book :)
Of course I am off the the health food store just as soon as they open on Monday for some adrenal support herbs and cancer fighting B12 and apricot pits. More abdominal surgery is not on my list for the end of the year.
November 30, 2010
on my mind and heart tonight
if one is not being blessed by God with what He calls "blessings"
then are you cursed?
My heart hurts so much tonight for the want of a blessing in my arms.
It has been almost 1 year since I was suprised with a pregnancy that ended too soon.
Add to that the 1 yr anniversary of our loss it is also my 2 yr post-op anniversary (in Feb)
DOUBLE KICK to the ovaries and heart!
I sit here waiting for a DR appointment in 2 days (Dec 2) that could answer
WHY my body doesn't work right
and
IF cancer is causing it.
everything I can find online and talking to health gurus says it probably is.
TOTALLY treatable normally but still scary as all get out
TOTALLY treatable normally but still scary as all get out
Tears are burning my eyes so I am going to bed. Oldest daughter broke her big toe this weekend and tomorrow is her re-check with her PCP and Bub is sick. No time in this house for emotional mommies.
Only my trust and faith in God will get me through this
UPDATE 1-
We saw the DR today and oldest broke a chip off her big toe bone but missed breaking the growth plate!
Dr said nothing to be done except to change how ER had us wrapping the toe.. now we are applying direct pressure to the chip to get it to reattach. DR heard Bub was sick so he pulled his chart...
Bub has a mild case "Whooping Cough" :(
it was to be expected since he is allergic to the DTaP shot and unvaxed (with DR's consent)
UPDATE 1-
We saw the DR today and oldest broke a chip off her big toe bone but missed breaking the growth plate!
Dr said nothing to be done except to change how ER had us wrapping the toe.. now we are applying direct pressure to the chip to get it to reattach. DR heard Bub was sick so he pulled his chart...
Bub has a mild case "Whooping Cough" :(
it was to be expected since he is allergic to the DTaP shot and unvaxed (with DR's consent)
our first Hanukka starts tomorrow night :)
So I am making a list of links to use until a book I ordered gets here.
Hanukkah Blessings
We ordered "Light in the Darkness Hanukkah and the Disciples of Yeshua" a First Fruits of Zion Anthology from Amazon.com. (Estimated delivery date of Dec 4-30! UGH!) Picked up the candles yesterday at Hallmark Cards. Bought some Kosher chocolate coins win playing Dreilel. Yesterday I started our book collection for the children with 3 Hanukkah children illustrated books.
This is our first year to not "do" Christmas. We gave up Santa a few years ago but kept up with the tree trimming, gifts, carols, and going all Chevy Chase with outside lighting. We are not trying to "become Jews" (though I *am* Jewish by heritage... 2nd generation American after my father's family fled the Nazis in Sweden) We are just trying to lose the "traditions of man" and follow the traditions of God by giving up our pagan ways. Jesus celebrated Hanukkah so we thought it might be nice to add it to our traditions.
Hanukkah Blessings
We ordered "Light in the Darkness Hanukkah and the Disciples of Yeshua" a First Fruits of Zion Anthology from Amazon.com. (Estimated delivery date of Dec 4-30! UGH!) Picked up the candles yesterday at Hallmark Cards. Bought some Kosher chocolate coins win playing Dreilel. Yesterday I started our book collection for the children with 3 Hanukkah children illustrated books.
This is our first year to not "do" Christmas. We gave up Santa a few years ago but kept up with the tree trimming, gifts, carols, and going all Chevy Chase with outside lighting. We are not trying to "become Jews" (though I *am* Jewish by heritage... 2nd generation American after my father's family fled the Nazis in Sweden) We are just trying to lose the "traditions of man" and follow the traditions of God by giving up our pagan ways. Jesus celebrated Hanukkah so we thought it might be nice to add it to our traditions.
November 28, 2010
karate night pics by Mamaw
warm ups
Peanut showing off |
Bub in his "Little Kicks" class |
Peanut instructing Bub on punches |
Princess doing kicks |
Hubby |
practicing jump kicks for the first time
Peanut |
great air time esp remembering that Hubby is 6 ft 9 in! |
Bible study time |
November 19, 2010
little peak
morning light.
it is NOT this bright blue
and at night.
not this grey either
love it when color won't show properly
November 15, 2010
inspiration for the bathroom closet
picked up this at Borders last night
ignore Hubby's size 16 in the shot...he was taking the pics for me
hmmm no closet door on the closet AND organized?!
:-)
but my "closet" is about double the depth so doing this make over will take some thinkin'
the closet and trim as of last night.
stripped and scraped twice.
since needs work before I can start to make things pretty
the dresser
she is a painted! (said in the best I-talian accent this Texan can muster)
she is moody, dark and a more than a little bit sexy
not sure that goes well with 5 yr old boy...
this may be MOMMA'S now
:)
I know you want to peek but that comes tomorrow!
I see crystal pulls in this dresser's future
November 14, 2010
playing with paint
and stain :)
cream with "age" stain...would also sand and distress
can really see the age of this dresser in the pic
rubbed french blue over black (Bub loves)
technique needs worked on....
but that is what I get for 30 secs and using a hair dryer!
Minwax "Provincial 211"
looks good here, IRL it is showing EVERY. LITTLE. BIT. OF. PAINT. left and looking hazy
November 13, 2010
paint or stain or both?
wow it looks so pale against my drop cloth curtains :-/
imagine THIS side's color is what you also see on the front
...maybe even a bit darker. think aged hickory wood
one drawer has a funky design carved into it and since the other drawers don't I am thinking of removing that one and doing a shelf for Bub's favorite blankets.
so should I paint it, stain it or a combo?
Bub would like a blue paint if I let him pick.
November 11, 2010
pics of projects
finally! :)
Hubby got an Iphone for work so I snagged it to snap a few pics.
new curbside freebie! sorry it is dark
dovetail joins--- sigh :)
beautiful wood!
my new doorbell- dry brushed with antique white and rusting perfectly outside
Granny's side table... what color to paint?
lamps--- hazy sage goodness
rooster lamps before and after--
before- black and way too dark
after 2 coats of "Hazy Sage" tester pot from HD
my huge new map, "small" map, painted pumpkins (that kids did) and lamps
this map is almost 3x4 ft!
the "small" map is 2x3 ft and reads "The MAPLES" in the "travels section" there in the bottom middle
bathroom trim sanding and painting??
please ignore the junk still left in that over sized closet I am working on!
to paint it white or not? that is the question. Hubby wants it white "to match" the rest
half round table--- mid point after sanding it.
going to stain it this weekend
Hubby got an Iphone for work so I snagged it to snap a few pics.
new curbside freebie! sorry it is dark
dovetail joins--- sigh :)
beautiful wood!
my new doorbell- dry brushed with antique white and rusting perfectly outside
Granny's side table... what color to paint?
lamps--- hazy sage goodness
rooster lamps before and after--
before- black and way too dark
after 2 coats of "Hazy Sage" tester pot from HD
my huge new map, "small" map, painted pumpkins (that kids did) and lamps
this map is almost 3x4 ft!
the "small" map is 2x3 ft and reads "The MAPLES" in the "travels section" there in the bottom middle
bathroom trim sanding and painting??
please ignore the junk still left in that over sized closet I am working on!
to paint it white or not? that is the question. Hubby wants it white "to match" the rest
half round table--- mid point after sanding it.
going to stain it this weekend
November 10, 2010
never know what ya gonna get
I am sanding the trim in my guest bathroom because it NASTY and LUMPY. I have half the door and closet door done (out of sand paper pads switching to paint stripper tonight) and to my surprise the wood is BEAUTIFUL and smells like Christmas so good that I am rethinking painting it at all.
Would that look OK?
White bead board and doors with wood trim?
I then gotbored inspired and took the sander to my turquoise half round table. Ruffed it up really good. Loving the instant age :) I can not wait to get some stain to enhance it farther.
Would that look OK?
White bead board and doors with wood trim?
I then got
Last but not least....
I took a risk and hit the newest curb side freebie with the sander.
I knew it could go either way but with dove tail joints I had to try....
School Bus Yellow
dirt
White
goopy
Blue
more dirt
Black
NASTY NASTY NASTY
til I got to raw wood
CHERRY WOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Be still my heart :) sigh
wish I had a camera!
November 5, 2010
sigh
WHY is it when I feel all good and crafty and ready to share some projects going on around the house my camera dies? And my cell phone screen broke so I can't see to use it (#3 to die this year just of mine...we don't count the ones Hubby killed). So I can not share pics!
Granny's 1950s side table that needs a new paint job and I can't decide on color.
Master bedroom has been rearranged and need to painting before I get carpet in the new yr...again can not pick a color...I have too many favorite colors right now!
Painted ALL my picture frames white (just need to rehang them)
Hung up two vintage and huge maps in the living room
Redoing the guest bath (or is it just FINISHING it?)
A garage sale dresser I am going to tin foil
Added cabinets that Hubby built in the laundry room
Laundry room make over
Painted lamps
Painted and deco podged pumpkins
Making drop cloth curtains for 2 rooms
Plus all the goodies I got from Mom's last week
and I am dejunking/organising like crazy and soooooo want to show the progress!
Granny's 1950s side table that needs a new paint job and I can't decide on color.
Master bedroom has been rearranged and need to painting before I get carpet in the new yr...again can not pick a color...I have too many favorite colors right now!
Painted ALL my picture frames white (just need to rehang them)
Hung up two vintage and huge maps in the living room
Redoing the guest bath (or is it just FINISHING it?)
A garage sale dresser I am going to tin foil
Added cabinets that Hubby built in the laundry room
Laundry room make over
Painted lamps
Painted and deco podged pumpkins
Making drop cloth curtains for 2 rooms
Plus all the goodies I got from Mom's last week
and I am dejunking/organising like crazy and soooooo want to show the progress!
sigh, pout, whine
Darling Princess offered to let me use her lap top's web cam to take pics
Too bad the Internet is turned off on her machine :(
it is the thought that counts, right?
:)
November 4, 2010
today I start...
Clear, glowing, dewy-looking skin, free of blackheads, pimples, cysts, and other imperfections seems to be an elusive goal. The booming skin care industry would have you believe the same with their claims of the need to rid your skin of oil completely and apply burning chemicals in order to avoid these imperfections. Modern society has been so strongly influenced by these marketing claims that some find themselves washing the delicate and easily-inflamed tissue of their facial skin with "grease cutting" or "antibacterial" dish and hand soap only to find that their skin condition worsens. The anxiety that rises when yet another pimple flares up or another painful lump begins forming beneath the skin sends many into overdrive in attempt to counter the impending damage, but does it ever work? Does the panicked scrubbing, disinfecting, and drying ever work? Why is it that if something works for a few days, or if you get lucky, a few weeks, the long term brings the blemishes back? The cycle seems endless. It's exhausting. It's painful. It's embarrassing. It's expensive!
The reasons we have so much trouble with mainstream skin care products are numerous, but two reasons, in particular, lead the pack. These products strip the oil out of our skin, leaving our largest organ trying to repair itself by replacing the oil stripped away. This leaves us in a cycle of being tight and dry followed by the inevitable oil slick. Each time we strip the oil away, our skin over-compensates for the lack of moisture by creating more oil. On top of the drying effects, these products are highly-scented. Fragrance is one of the top skin irritants and strangely enough, even the so-called "unscented" products usually contain fragrance. See for yourself and check the labels. Dry, irritated skin replaced by oily skin, inflamed and trapping debris?
If we know what our body is going to do and understand the process, we can then understand what it takes to control it and achieve the results we want. Clear skin is attainable.
Getting right down to basics, when cleansing and moisturizing your skin, it is imperative that you keep in mind that oil dissolves oil. Your skin naturally lubricates itself with oil, and as we are creatures of adaptation, one can believe that if this weren't the appropriate built-in care for ourselves, our bodies would have adapted to suit the need. If you've been battling your skin for long, you're probably recoiling at the mere thought of applying oil to your face. You can imagine the slick, greasy, clogging feeling of smearing sludge all over your face. If you stay with me and read the rest of this article, that mental image will be replaced by a more comforting, Zen-like image of a relaxing spa massage. I promise. Let your curiosity get the better of you, read the article, then decide if you should give this method of skin care a go.
Do not be afraid of applying oil to your face. Oil, alone, will not bring you blemishes. Pimples, cysts, zits, blackheads, whiteheads...these are a result of several different factors including hormones, bacteria, dead skin cells and the buildup of these factors. Your skin naturally produces oil because it needs it. It is not a malicious force to be reckoned with; it is there for the benefit of your skin, allowing your largest organ to function properly. It is naturally occurring. Not only does your natural oil help lubricate, it also heals, protects, and moisturizes your skin so that it may function properly. Properly functioning skin is beautiful, clear, and glowing. Learning to work with your skin, not against it, will save you tremendously.
While we're talking about clarifying your skin externally, we must also touch on the internal aspect. WATER! Drink no less than 8 glasses of water a day. If your skin has issues with blemishes, drink up! Water will help release and remove the toxins from within, lessening the load on your skin to push the toxins out. Carry a bottle of water around with you throughout the day so water is always available.
Now, to the main point of this article.
The basic concept of this skin care and cleansing method is that the oil used to massage your skin will dissolve the oil that has hardened with impurities and found itself stuck in your pores. The steam will open your pores, allowing the oil to be easily removed. Should you need it, the smallest drop of the same oil formula patted over damp skin will provide the necessary lubrication to keep your skin from over-compensating in oil production.
We will need two oils. The first, and most importantly, is Castor Oil. If you don't have this medicine cabinet staple already, it can be found online or in the laxative section of your grocer or drugstore - usually bottom shelf. Castor Oil has potent anti-inflammatory properties, but is also healing and cleansing, which is why we're focusing on this oil as our primary oil. Castor Oil has been the focus of many books and medical discussion because of its seemingly "magical" healing properties. As quoted in The Oil That Heals by Dr. McGarey, he states, "Castor oil will leave the body in better condition than it found it." Though it may be our most important oil, we won't be using it in the amounts that we will the other oil (or combination of oils for those who want to take this a step further). A little bit of Castor Oil goes a long way and too much will leave you, surprisingly, with dry skin.
Since Castor Oil is so thick and its cleansing properties so strong, we need to dilute it with another oil, thinner in consistency, but no less nurturing to the skin. Sunflower Seed Oil has become my personal favorite, though in the past, I've suggested Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Both are wonderfully caring oils for skin application, but I've found that Sunflower Seed Oil has a more luxurious feel for massage. It sinks into the skin better, aiding the Castor oil in transportation deep into the pores and allowing it to draw the dirt and grime to the surface of your skin where it can be wiped away. The essential fatty acids, though they are not naturally occurring in the body, are a necessity for the health of our cell membranes. These acids help restore the skins natural moisture balance and help prevent unnecessary dryness. The secondary oil that you choose is entirely up to you and should be determined by your skins needs and the properties of that oil. Choose from natural, cold-pressed vegetable oils, as these have nutrients, vitamins, and fatty acids that mineral oil and other refined oils don't. You may even have these oils in your kitchen, as they're used for cooking, as well! For the sake of explanation, from this point on, we'll say "Sunflower Seed Oil" in place of "Secondary Oil." Remember that Sunflower Seed Oil may be replaced by your vegetable oil of choice.
Your Personal Oil Blend
The starting point for creating your own, personalized skin cleansing oil blend is knowing your general skin type. Those with dry skin will want less Castor Oil. Those with oily skin will want to blend in more. Finding your perfect combination of oils will probably take a little bit of trial and error, so start with very small batches. Once you know what your ratio of oils looks like, you'll be able to blend much more at a time for convenience.
Some suggestions in creating your blend of deep cleansing oil:
Oily Skin: Try a blend of 30% Castor Oil to 70% Sunflower Seed Oil.
Balanced Skin: Try a blend of 20% Castor Oil to 80% Sunflower Seed Oil.
Dry Skin: Try a blend of 10% Castor Oil to 90% Sunflower Seed Oil.
You can vary these percentages to match your own skins needs. If your skin feels too dry, you'll need to use less Castor Oil and replace it with more Sunflower Seed Oil. Keep in mind that Castor Oil is the drawing, cleansing, and purging oil for your pores. The Sunflower Seed Oil is to dilute the Castor Oil in viscosity (thickness) and additionally provide moisture, nutrients, and other benefits. My own, personal blend, for my sometimes oily, sometimes dry, frequently flaky, and easily irritated skin is about 25% Castor Oil to 75% Sunflower Seed Oil. I mix and store my mixture in a clean four-ounce flip-top bottle for convenience. When you go to replenish your oil blend, I suggest cleaning your bottle thoroughly with dish soap or the dishwasher. Better yet, if you can replace the bottle, this is ideal. We want to be extremely cautious in introducing bacteria to the bottle.
The Oil Cleansing Method
First and foremost, this is typically done in the evening, prior to bed. There should be no need for deep cleansing in the morning if you're waking up with skin cleansed the night before. In the morning, a quick wipe with a warm washcloth should suffice. We don't want to over cleanse our skin as this will serve only to irritate and cause more oil production. The objective of using this method is to deep clean while balancing our skins oil production at the same time.
You'll need a soft washcloth, your oil blend, and hot, running water.
Pour a generous puddle of oil into the palm of your hand. Roughly, the size of a quarter, but more is acceptable. Rub your hands together to warm the oil and smooth over your face.
Begin massaging the oil into your face. This will remove makeup, dirt, and other impurities, so there is no need to use a makeup remover or wash your face prior to the massage. I've found that this removes even my stubborn waterproof mascara and concealer.
Using slow, firm motions across the skin, massage the oil deeply into your pores. Take your time and focus on your problem areas. You want the oil to work into your pores so that blackheads and the like can be dissolved and steamed away.
As you're massaging, let your mind drift off to something calming and breathe deeply. Take this time to relax and release some of the stress that your body is harboring. Sit down, breathe deeply, and take your time. Give the oil enough time to work on dissolving the impurities in your pores and give yourself enough time to unwind. Picture what your face would look like if it were completely clear and free from blemishes. Focus on that image and know that it is attainable. Trust that it is attainable. Accept that it is attainable. You can have clear skin, free of blemishes and you will have clear skin, free of blemishes. Focus on perfect skin and breathe deeply.
Once you're satisfied that your pores are saturated and you're feeling calm, pick up your washcloth and soak it in clean, steamy water. We want the water to be warm enough to open your pores and remove the oil. Cool water will not open your pores, nor will it remove the oil efficiently. We're not scalding our skin, we're steaming to coax our pores to release the oil carrying the impurities. We're essentially steaming our skin as an esthetician would, but without the luxury of a steam machine.
Hold the washcloth to cover your face. Allow it to stay until it cools. You will feel your pores releasing the impurities. Wipe the oil gently away and rinse the washcloth well in hot, running water. Hold the washcloth to your face again, allowing it to cool. Wipe gently, rinse well, and repeat two or three more times. Avoid any temptation to scrub, as you'll find it's completely unnecessary and your skin will be soft, smooth, and free of flakes without the additional manual exfoliation and irritation that will result. Impurities, dead skin cells, and bacteria will be gently swept away.
Have no fear of the oil, as the steamy washcloth will remove it. The Castor Oil, though it is an oil, will help with the removal of the other oils, as well. It is our main cleansing oil and is easily removed with warm water.
If your skin feels tight, take a tiny drop of your oil blend, rub it between your clean, damp palms and pat it onto your damp skin. Gently massage any oil residue into your skin so there is no film of oil left sitting on the surface. Your skin should now glow!
This deep cleansing method should be done regularly, but not too frequently. You'll know if you're deep cleansing too frequently by the dryness that your skin will exhibit. Don't be surprised if you find you've unblocked an oil flow for the first few days. Once you remove the plugs from your pores, they will begin functioning properly again. Perfect skin won't happen overnight and while it should take a few massages to achieve your goal, you should notice a huge difference in your skin after the first deep cleansing massage. Give your skin a few days to adjust and adapt to being clean and clear of blockages; understand that the new oil coming from your skin is actually a good sign and will balance out very shortly. You'll find redness and irritation subsiding. You'll find your skin losing that "congested," and thick feeling.
____________________________
Thanks to my hormones and thyroid being out of whack my normally super oily skin is now super oily AND severely dry and peeling. This week I added in 2 herbal detoxes so I am now breaking out. SUPER! not. I have a friend from the Middle East who has cleansed her face with olive oil (WITHOUT Castor oil) her whole life and now in her 70s she has the most beautiful soft and wrinkle free skin. She said it is the way girls are taught to clean in her country for 1000s of years. What better endorsement!?
Last night I did rub straight Castor oil onto a deep under the skin blemish that was hurting really bad. Before bed it actually came to the surface and "opened" on its own... most of the heat, pain and "stuff" are gone. :) so far so good!
I will keep everyone up dated on how well it works.
November 3, 2010
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
October 31, 2010
no answers
I got home tonight from a cross state trip to the doctor and then my Mom's house.
I saw an OBGYN for less than 2 minutes on 28th. The doctor did not examine me, refill my "mood" med or give me a new one, or answer any questions I had. The doctor refused to help figure out why I have recurrent miscarriages or to help prevent them saying "I think you have enough kids." I was told I wasted the doctor's and my time being there and that my PCP's office were "idiots".
I informed my PCP and the hospital admin office were I was advised to make a formal complaint.
I am trying to get in with a new doctor and Hubby plans to make that appointment with me. I should see the ENDO DRsometime by Jan 2011.
The trip wasn't a total wash as I did get to spend 4 days with my Mom and help her unpack some of her storage room. We filled the local dumpster conquering the clutter in 1/3 of the room and closet. We wanted to do more but Mom's back couldn't take the lifting anymore so when we go back in December we will try to finish it then. We loaded my truck up with goodies from my grandparents, great grandparents and other relatives. I brought home dozens of old books, an antique steamer trunk, hand forged "sad" iron, white iron stone wash basin and pitcher, family pictures and my Grampa's and great grandfather's cowboy hats. I can't wait to unload everything tomorrow!
I saw an OBGYN for less than 2 minutes on 28th. The doctor did not examine me, refill my "mood" med or give me a new one, or answer any questions I had. The doctor refused to help figure out why I have recurrent miscarriages or to help prevent them saying "I think you have enough kids." I was told I wasted the doctor's and my time being there and that my PCP's office were "idiots".
I informed my PCP and the hospital admin office were I was advised to make a formal complaint.
I am trying to get in with a new doctor and Hubby plans to make that appointment with me. I should see the ENDO DRsometime by Jan 2011.
The trip wasn't a total wash as I did get to spend 4 days with my Mom and help her unpack some of her storage room. We filled the local dumpster conquering the clutter in 1/3 of the room and closet. We wanted to do more but Mom's back couldn't take the lifting anymore so when we go back in December we will try to finish it then. We loaded my truck up with goodies from my grandparents, great grandparents and other relatives. I brought home dozens of old books, an antique steamer trunk, hand forged "sad" iron, white iron stone wash basin and pitcher, family pictures and my Grampa's and great grandfather's cowboy hats. I can't wait to unload everything tomorrow!
October 27, 2010
"abnormal"
A word you do not want to hear especially coming from a Doctor about your recent test results.
I have not felt too good these past months so I had a full physical about 6 weeks ago. Last week on Wednesday I had a uterus/ovary and throat ultrasound. I know they were checking my thyroid and the "lump" I felt in my throat but not sure what doctors were looking for down below.
This morning the hospital called and I didn't answer. I had been up til 3am waiting on Hubby to get home from out of town and was too tired to talk. Right before lunch the hospital called back and informed me of my "abnormal" pelvic ultrasound and made an appointment for 2:30 tomorrow. They will not tell me what is wrong and will just say I need to be seen tomorrow. I had an appointment for Dec 17 with the OBGYN but I guess that was too far out.
I am freaking out.
I was leaving today (until staying up so late) for a raod trip to my Mom's home in north west Oklahoma to help her unpack and pick up Bub who has been with her since last week. Now I get to drive to north east Oklahoma for the doctor tomorrow morning and then to Mom's. About 12 hours one way.
I hate driving.
If you think of it say a little prayer for me.
PRAYER UPDATE- the Dr called this afternoon... a polyp and possibly another polyp and/or lesion were found in the endometrium canal of my uterus. Plus there are at least 2 "nodes" (lumps) in my thyroid causing some health and swallowing issues. They are not sure if these lumps/polyps are cancerous or not
I have not felt too good these past months so I had a full physical about 6 weeks ago. Last week on Wednesday I had a uterus/ovary and throat ultrasound. I know they were checking my thyroid and the "lump" I felt in my throat but not sure what doctors were looking for down below.
This morning the hospital called and I didn't answer. I had been up til 3am waiting on Hubby to get home from out of town and was too tired to talk. Right before lunch the hospital called back and informed me of my "abnormal" pelvic ultrasound and made an appointment for 2:30 tomorrow. They will not tell me what is wrong and will just say I need to be seen tomorrow. I had an appointment for Dec 17 with the OBGYN but I guess that was too far out.
I am freaking out.
I was leaving today (until staying up so late) for a raod trip to my Mom's home in north west Oklahoma to help her unpack and pick up Bub who has been with her since last week. Now I get to drive to north east Oklahoma for the doctor tomorrow morning and then to Mom's. About 12 hours one way.
I hate driving.
If you think of it say a little prayer for me.
PRAYER UPDATE- the Dr called this afternoon... a polyp and possibly another polyp and/or lesion were found in the endometrium canal of my uterus. Plus there are at least 2 "nodes" (lumps) in my thyroid causing some health and swallowing issues. They are not sure if these lumps/polyps are cancerous or not
October 26, 2010
Worthless women and the men who make them
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
How do I put into words a concept that after weeks of pondering, and multiple attempts at writing, I can still only try to wrap my brain around? A concept that I feel, but struggle to put into proper and coherent thought. A concept in which I believe, yet it's difficult to surmise the fact that I actually believe it.
I honestly don't know. But I am going to try. For my own benefit, if for no other reason. This is at least my eighth attempt at putting this together, and I'm still unsure if I have properly articulated what I feel needs to be said today.
Strong words do need to be said, though. Please hear me through to the end. I cannot promise you will agree, but I can promise that you will be compelled to ponder some important things. Things that some of you may think impossible, Utopian, or unnatural. Things that may make some angry. But please. Read through to the end. I believe most of you will agree with what I have to say. Most of you will see the vision of this message. And that vision will spark conversation. That conversation will spark desire. And that desire will spark the beginning of change.
That is my sincere hope, anyway.
Because we have a problem.
Women are ugly.
Women are fat.
Women are bad mothers. Women are bad wives. Women are bad daughters.
Women are lousy cooks. Women don't keep their houses clean enough.
Women have too much cellulite in their thighs. Their abdomens are too flabby. Their under-arms are too Jell-oesque.
Women are terrible singers. They are terrible dancers. They are terrible public speakers.
Women are stupid. Women are scatter-brained.
Women are weak. They are powerless. They are defenseless.
Women don't dress well enough. They don't have clear enough complexions. They have too many freckles.
Women don't have full enough lips. They don't have skin that is soft enough.
Women are too dominant. Women are too passive.
Women are too mean. Women are too nice. Women are nothing but doormats.
Women aren't good enough. Women will never be good enough.
Women are, simply put, worthless.
Yes, they are all these things. If, that is, I am to believe the very words that are constantly being spoken by women themselves (which I don't). These are their words. And I've heard them declared again. And again. And again. To me, to other men, to other women, and for all I know to their pets and their plants.
Worthless. What a concept. To hold no value. To be less desirable than a can of dirt. Are you freaking kidding me? Every single statement on this list, including the worthless comment, was a declaration that at least one woman has made to me, for whatever reason. I bet there isn't a statement above that we all haven't heard at least once; most likely hundreds or thousands of times. Why would any of these horrible, degrading beliefs spill across the lips of any woman?
What hurts me the most is that most of these things have been said to me by more women than I would care to count.
Get real for a moment, ladies. How many of these statements have you yourself said or thought? Be honest. Go through the list, one by one, and admit to the number. I'm genuinely curious. I'm genuinely sick about it. How many of them have you said or thought just since you got out of bed this morning?
[sigh] I am upset, but I'm not really angry at you. Just frustrated. Just sad. I understand the reason you constantly let slip these damaging statements. I understand the reason why you actually believe these things. I understand the real reason you feel this way. And the real reason breaks my heart.
Because of that, my message today is not directed at you. It is written to the men of this world.
Guys... It is our fault. The blame lies with us.
And, frankly, I think a man is the one who needs to point a finger and begin a conversation that could actually fix this problem.
I pray to God that every person who reads this forwards it to every man that they know, and that even a sliver of those men take a moment to read what I am about to say, because it's time that the men of this world make a change. It's time we make a bold declaration against everything we've ever been taught. It's time we go against the grain for the sake of our precious and incredible counterparts.
I ask you seriously, men. Do we not realize what we have done to the women of this world? Do we not recognize the atrocities we have committed?
We have destroyed the very beauty that women are.
We've replaced that beauty with a standard that is, and always will be, impossible for them to hit. We've decided what the perfect legs are. We've decided what the perfect body is. We've decided what the perfect breasts are to be shaped like. We've decided what the perfect face, skin, butt, and neck should be. And we've made no hesitations to boldly let it be known.
We declare it, and we do so with little care for the tender women standing beside us.
And, of course, with each declaration, women hate themselves more. With each declaration, women get further and further from beautiful. With each declaration, more and more of our women willingly place themselves beneath the scalpels of so-called "doctors" who cut apart and reshape their already gorgeous bodies into something different.
Why?
Because. They can't be all of it. Not naturally. No woman can be all of it. No woman can possibly have the perfect everything and be the perfect everything. It is impossible, of that I have never been more certain.
Now, you may be naively sitting there thinking, I don't declare that. I tell women they are amazing. That they are beautiful. That there is nothing wrong with them.
Do you not understand? It doesn't take opening your mouth to propound these things. It doesn't take flapping your lips to make a statement. It doesn't take verbal anything to spread this vicious ideology.
All it takes is you and me, stopping and looking.
I've come to realize something profound that I don't know if I've ever heard anybody actually say.
It is not the impossibly air brushed females on magazine covers who are causing women to hold themselves against a standard of perfection. No, it's not that at all. Holy crap. Why am I just realizing this? Why doesn't anybody seem to realize this?
It is the men that stop and look at those magazines.
And that simple, repeated act is how we constantly, and never-endingly declare to women that they are not good enough, and will never be good enough.
We stop, and we look.
And women notice.
Women notice every time another woman walks by with "perfect" legs, and the men around her are unable to break themselves of the trance until she is gone.
Women notice every time we size up the girl whose "perfect" boobs are bursting out of her shirt.
Women notice every time we crane our necks as we pass by a Victoria's Secret store.
Women notice every time we sneak a glance at those magazines in the checkout line.
Women notice every time any woman gets attention for having the "perfect" anything.
Yes, women notice that men are sucked in and captivated by the same fictional things. Over, and over, and over.
And they remember it. They store it. They program their minds to say, "what he is looking at is obviously what men want, and I must have that or men won't want me".
Come on guys, let's give our "real" women a fighting chance.
Please. Let's stop ogling the very things that are causing this tragic mind game. Let's stop walking by the never-ending porn that surrounds us with our jaws dangling so carelessly. Let's stop salivating every time Pavlov rings his freaking bell.
And, guess what. It is not just women's bodies or looks that we are destroying. Women hear every time we sarcastically joke about wanting a cleaner house, more consistent meals, or more attention.
They notice when we laugh or make snide comments about their gender being anything less than kind or sweet. They hear our many jokes attacking their intelligence. They feel our belief that they are the weaker sex.
And they remember it. They store it. They program their own minds to say, "that is perfect, and I must be that or people won't want me".
Yes, men. It is our own damned fault. Why has it taken me 30 years to realize this? Why is it that nobody seems to realize this?
We honestly don't. We put the weight of this on the women. Everybody puts the weight of this on the women. Even the voice of change has been putting its attention on the symptom instead of the cause. Women, love yourselves, it glaringly repeats. Learn to love who you are. Realize that you aren't perfect and never will be. Realize that the women on magazine covers are fake.
That has even been my message of late. But now, I question whether that is an impossible thing to ask.
I don't know how it is possible so long as we, as men, stop and look. So long as I stop and look. In fact, I'm certain that it is not. A woman can tell herself that those images are fake until the sun goes down, but at the end of the day, her self-talk will barely matter. Not when men think that they're real. Not when she knows that men want what is shamelessly being touted from those photos. Not when she knows that men think of those photos as real.
Good crap. Let's give our "real" women a fighting chance, guys.
We must stop stopping. We must stop looking. We must stop fooling ourselves that such fantasies exist. We must stop wanting our women to live up to impossible ideals. We must stop seeking out images of scantily clad and naked women. We must stop filling our mind with all this fiction. We must stop.
Let's instead stop and look at something else. Let's stop and look at the irrefutable beauty in the "real" women around us, just as men have for millennia. You see, it is only a recent phenomenon that "real" women no longer have the ability to be truly "beautiful" for the men of this world. It is only in recent history that women who have done everything they can to make themselves as attractive as they can, still feel ugly. Still feel imperfect. Still feel worthless.
Can we not discover the very pulchritude that each womanly imperfection carries?
Can we not appreciate the wrinkles that have each majestically formed over the years from so much laughing and smiling?
Can we not find the sexiness in a woman's breasts that have selflessly given nourishment to their young?
Can we not enjoy the comfort that only comes from hugging a "real" woman with "real" curves and "real" softness?
Are we so vain that we aren't overwhelmed with desire for women who feature the polished finesse of lives beautifully lived?
Can we not express our excitement over the things that day in, and day out, they so selflessly accomplish? Can we not keep from questioning whether a woman could have done more? Can we not see that oftentimes, women do much more than you or I could ever, or would even want to do? I can't speak for you, but as I ponder on the women in my life, a truly lazy or lacking woman has been rare indeed. Men, on the other hand... we have some things to work on.
My dear brothers, can we not start loving everything about our "real" women? Can we not start ogling our "real" women instead of those fictitious fantasies in the check-out line? Can we not send a message to the world that we are no longer interested in anything that is less (or more) than "real"? That we are no longer interested in setting our standard of beauty based on images that some artist found some way to create with a damn computer? Can we not declare that we're only interested in the very "real" women standing beside us and around us?
You'll remember that I started this post with a list of the execrable things that women often believe themselves to be. Do we not realize why women think, believe, and say these things? Are we really that daft? Are we really that stupid? Are we really that stubborn?
It is because of us, guys. It is because we leave them with no other option. We stop. We look. We comment. We joke. We implant those very thoughts into their way of thinking. We make sure they know that we agree with everything the media has brainwashed us to believe beauty to be.
I, for one, am done with it. I, for one, am taking a stand. I, for one, will no longer be stopping. I will no longer be looking. Why?
Quite possibly for a selfish reason. I am a heterosexual man. And, as blunt and uncomfortable as this may seem, I realized recently that I am starting to lose my attraction to women. Over time, and after seeing enough of this concocted and concentrated hog wash surrounding me, I've almost completely lost my ability to truly want a "real" woman. Most of us have. We have somehow started wanting what we know we can never have. We want what we see on the cover of Cosmo and Maxim. We want what is displayed across calendars and centerfolds.
And women know that. They see that. They feel it.
It's our own damned fault that we're all screwed up. Stop blaming the women. Stop expecting them to magically step up to the plate and be comfortable with who they are. We all must stop expecting women to fix this. When we honestly look at how women feel, what they think, and how they respond, we will see that it is all just a symptom of you and me.
A symptom of us stopping.
A symptom of us looking.
Nothing else.
If men never stopped. If men never looked. Do you honestly think women would have this problem? Think about that. Would these magazines even exist if men weren't interested in the fakeness splashed across their covers? Women would not care. They would feel no need to live up to a digital standard of beauty because there would be no reason to do so. Not if it was something we didn't want.
To the "real" women of this world. I owe you an apology, and I hope that the men of this world will line up behind me to offer you one. I am sorry. I am sorry for it all. And I promise you, I will change. I may not always be perfect with it, but I promise you I will change. I will stop stopping. I will stop looking.
I can't do this without you. We can't do this without you. If men are to change, we need you to change some things as well. You see, we do need you to believe in yourselves. We do need you to love yourselves. We do need you to stop comparing yourselves to super models and pin-up girls. We need you to be what women have been through all of history. We need you to be what women have always known themselves to be. We need you to go back to a time before the Internet. Before Playboy Magazine and before Marilyn Monroe. A time before Vogue or Elle. A time when far fewer women hated their bodies. We need you to go back to a time when far fewer women felt worthless.
We need you to be you. We need you to be beautiful. Because beautiful you are.
You know what else we need that would help everybody? Something that would help both genders in all of this?
I can't believe I am going to say what I am about to say. I can't believe I actually do want what I am about to ask. But I do. Desperately. So, I'm going to throw it out there. I think we need women to wear clothing that shows a little less instead of a little more. We need women to wear pants that are a little looser instead of a little tighter. We need women to put their boobs back inside of their shirts. I feel crazy even saying it (I'm a single guy for crying out loud), but maybe if women gave everybody a little less to compare, this whole thing would be a little easier for us all, no matter what our chromosomal make-up.
Don't get me wrong. None of this is to say that men should or can stop appreciating beauty. That would be unnatural. That would be impossible. It is not to say that women shouldn't make themselves as attractive as they can be. It is not to say that we shouldn't appreciate cleanliness and comeliness. No, it is not to say any of those things. It is only to plead with each of you. Let's bring this world back to reality. Let's make sure that the people we are attracted to are "real" people. Let's make sure that the women we stop and look at are "real" women.
That is the simplicity of today's message.
Like I said, I am a heterosexual man. And in my life, I have never known a time when men weren't constantly being programmed to want more boobs, more butts, and more legs. Asking for less of it goes against everything that the media has crammed down my throat for 30 years. Asking for less of it goes against everything I've been taught to believe that a man is. It is not an easy concept for me to choke down, much less advocate, but I'm going to ask for it anyway.
Because, let's be honest. It wasn't anything but the media that made me this way. It is the media that has worked endlessly to make all men this way. Can we not agree to that? Sure, we've all done our part in spreading the muck, but it all bubbles up from the same cesspool of forgeries.
What do you say, fellas? Can we take a step back, cordially give the media the finger, and start seeing "real" women as beautiful, just as they always have been?
And what do you say, women? Throw us a freaking bone? Give us something we can believe in? Give us the women we so desperately want to cherish? "Real" women with "real" love for themselves? All you have to do is stop. And look. Look at reality. Look at what you want. Look at what needs to be changed. Look at the problems you're making worse instead of better. And, never, not even once, let those self-loathing statements listed above enter your thoughts. Certainly never let them escape your lips.
Let's do this already. Men, own up. It's time. Women, help us do it.
With everything I have,
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, I hold no shame in asking you to spread this message. If you agree with it, share it. Do not hesitate. If I have come to believe anything, it's that the power of numbers can be used to spark change. Post this on Facebook. Tweet it. Blog about it. Comment on it. Do whatever it takes to put it in front of the faces of men everywhere.
If you agree with it at all. If you see value in it at all. If you can get behind it at all. Share it. I understand that a large percentage of my readers are women. I know each of you know men. You really never know which man among them might read this and get behind it if you put it out there.
Men, imagine the power you carry in what you will say and do after you read this. Imagine the men of this world doing something truly noble to fix the lives and hearts of our women. Imagine the ability to see beauty everywhere we look.
Does anybody have the brass to swim against the current with me? Does anybody have the courage to say, "this is wrong, this is hurting people, and I will no longer participate"?
I hope so. With everything inside of me, I hope so.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Men or women. Whether you agree or whether you don't. If you do disagree, that's fine, just be courteous in your reply. Let's all have an intelligent and significant conversation about this.
We'd also love if you found a way to follow us. We have a lot of fun around here. And I promise, I don't use the word "boobs" all the time. Only when it's important.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I read this and was nearly in tears! How many times have heard these statements?! SAID these things about myself?! Beat myself up believing the lies!
How do I put into words a concept that after weeks of pondering, and multiple attempts at writing, I can still only try to wrap my brain around? A concept that I feel, but struggle to put into proper and coherent thought. A concept in which I believe, yet it's difficult to surmise the fact that I actually believe it.
I honestly don't know. But I am going to try. For my own benefit, if for no other reason. This is at least my eighth attempt at putting this together, and I'm still unsure if I have properly articulated what I feel needs to be said today.
Strong words do need to be said, though. Please hear me through to the end. I cannot promise you will agree, but I can promise that you will be compelled to ponder some important things. Things that some of you may think impossible, Utopian, or unnatural. Things that may make some angry. But please. Read through to the end. I believe most of you will agree with what I have to say. Most of you will see the vision of this message. And that vision will spark conversation. That conversation will spark desire. And that desire will spark the beginning of change.
That is my sincere hope, anyway.
Because we have a problem.
Women are ugly.
Women are fat.
Women are bad mothers. Women are bad wives. Women are bad daughters.
Women are lousy cooks. Women don't keep their houses clean enough.
Women have too much cellulite in their thighs. Their abdomens are too flabby. Their under-arms are too Jell-oesque.
Women are terrible singers. They are terrible dancers. They are terrible public speakers.
Women are stupid. Women are scatter-brained.
Women are weak. They are powerless. They are defenseless.
Women don't dress well enough. They don't have clear enough complexions. They have too many freckles.
Women don't have full enough lips. They don't have skin that is soft enough.
Women are too dominant. Women are too passive.
Women are too mean. Women are too nice. Women are nothing but doormats.
Women aren't good enough. Women will never be good enough.
Women are, simply put, worthless.
Yes, they are all these things. If, that is, I am to believe the very words that are constantly being spoken by women themselves (which I don't). These are their words. And I've heard them declared again. And again. And again. To me, to other men, to other women, and for all I know to their pets and their plants.
Worthless. What a concept. To hold no value. To be less desirable than a can of dirt. Are you freaking kidding me? Every single statement on this list, including the worthless comment, was a declaration that at least one woman has made to me, for whatever reason. I bet there isn't a statement above that we all haven't heard at least once; most likely hundreds or thousands of times. Why would any of these horrible, degrading beliefs spill across the lips of any woman?
What hurts me the most is that most of these things have been said to me by more women than I would care to count.
Get real for a moment, ladies. How many of these statements have you yourself said or thought? Be honest. Go through the list, one by one, and admit to the number. I'm genuinely curious. I'm genuinely sick about it. How many of them have you said or thought just since you got out of bed this morning?
[sigh] I am upset, but I'm not really angry at you. Just frustrated. Just sad. I understand the reason you constantly let slip these damaging statements. I understand the reason why you actually believe these things. I understand the real reason you feel this way. And the real reason breaks my heart.
Because of that, my message today is not directed at you. It is written to the men of this world.
Guys... It is our fault. The blame lies with us.
And, frankly, I think a man is the one who needs to point a finger and begin a conversation that could actually fix this problem.
I pray to God that every person who reads this forwards it to every man that they know, and that even a sliver of those men take a moment to read what I am about to say, because it's time that the men of this world make a change. It's time we make a bold declaration against everything we've ever been taught. It's time we go against the grain for the sake of our precious and incredible counterparts.
I ask you seriously, men. Do we not realize what we have done to the women of this world? Do we not recognize the atrocities we have committed?
We have destroyed the very beauty that women are.
We've replaced that beauty with a standard that is, and always will be, impossible for them to hit. We've decided what the perfect legs are. We've decided what the perfect body is. We've decided what the perfect breasts are to be shaped like. We've decided what the perfect face, skin, butt, and neck should be. And we've made no hesitations to boldly let it be known.
We declare it, and we do so with little care for the tender women standing beside us.
And, of course, with each declaration, women hate themselves more. With each declaration, women get further and further from beautiful. With each declaration, more and more of our women willingly place themselves beneath the scalpels of so-called "doctors" who cut apart and reshape their already gorgeous bodies into something different.
Why?
Because. They can't be all of it. Not naturally. No woman can be all of it. No woman can possibly have the perfect everything and be the perfect everything. It is impossible, of that I have never been more certain.
Now, you may be naively sitting there thinking, I don't declare that. I tell women they are amazing. That they are beautiful. That there is nothing wrong with them.
Do you not understand? It doesn't take opening your mouth to propound these things. It doesn't take flapping your lips to make a statement. It doesn't take verbal anything to spread this vicious ideology.
All it takes is you and me, stopping and looking.
I've come to realize something profound that I don't know if I've ever heard anybody actually say.
It is not the impossibly air brushed females on magazine covers who are causing women to hold themselves against a standard of perfection. No, it's not that at all. Holy crap. Why am I just realizing this? Why doesn't anybody seem to realize this?
It is the men that stop and look at those magazines.
And that simple, repeated act is how we constantly, and never-endingly declare to women that they are not good enough, and will never be good enough.
We stop, and we look.
And women notice.
Women notice every time another woman walks by with "perfect" legs, and the men around her are unable to break themselves of the trance until she is gone.
Women notice every time we size up the girl whose "perfect" boobs are bursting out of her shirt.
Women notice every time we crane our necks as we pass by a Victoria's Secret store.
Women notice every time we sneak a glance at those magazines in the checkout line.
Women notice every time any woman gets attention for having the "perfect" anything.
Yes, women notice that men are sucked in and captivated by the same fictional things. Over, and over, and over.
And they remember it. They store it. They program their minds to say, "what he is looking at is obviously what men want, and I must have that or men won't want me".
Come on guys, let's give our "real" women a fighting chance.
Please. Let's stop ogling the very things that are causing this tragic mind game. Let's stop walking by the never-ending porn that surrounds us with our jaws dangling so carelessly. Let's stop salivating every time Pavlov rings his freaking bell.
And, guess what. It is not just women's bodies or looks that we are destroying. Women hear every time we sarcastically joke about wanting a cleaner house, more consistent meals, or more attention.
They notice when we laugh or make snide comments about their gender being anything less than kind or sweet. They hear our many jokes attacking their intelligence. They feel our belief that they are the weaker sex.
And they remember it. They store it. They program their own minds to say, "that is perfect, and I must be that or people won't want me".
Yes, men. It is our own damned fault. Why has it taken me 30 years to realize this? Why is it that nobody seems to realize this?
We honestly don't. We put the weight of this on the women. Everybody puts the weight of this on the women. Even the voice of change has been putting its attention on the symptom instead of the cause. Women, love yourselves, it glaringly repeats. Learn to love who you are. Realize that you aren't perfect and never will be. Realize that the women on magazine covers are fake.
That has even been my message of late. But now, I question whether that is an impossible thing to ask.
I don't know how it is possible so long as we, as men, stop and look. So long as I stop and look. In fact, I'm certain that it is not. A woman can tell herself that those images are fake until the sun goes down, but at the end of the day, her self-talk will barely matter. Not when men think that they're real. Not when she knows that men want what is shamelessly being touted from those photos. Not when she knows that men think of those photos as real.
Good crap. Let's give our "real" women a fighting chance, guys.
We must stop stopping. We must stop looking. We must stop fooling ourselves that such fantasies exist. We must stop wanting our women to live up to impossible ideals. We must stop seeking out images of scantily clad and naked women. We must stop filling our mind with all this fiction. We must stop.
Let's instead stop and look at something else. Let's stop and look at the irrefutable beauty in the "real" women around us, just as men have for millennia. You see, it is only a recent phenomenon that "real" women no longer have the ability to be truly "beautiful" for the men of this world. It is only in recent history that women who have done everything they can to make themselves as attractive as they can, still feel ugly. Still feel imperfect. Still feel worthless.
Can we not discover the very pulchritude that each womanly imperfection carries?
Can we not appreciate the wrinkles that have each majestically formed over the years from so much laughing and smiling?
Can we not find the sexiness in a woman's breasts that have selflessly given nourishment to their young?
Can we not enjoy the comfort that only comes from hugging a "real" woman with "real" curves and "real" softness?
Are we so vain that we aren't overwhelmed with desire for women who feature the polished finesse of lives beautifully lived?
Can we not express our excitement over the things that day in, and day out, they so selflessly accomplish? Can we not keep from questioning whether a woman could have done more? Can we not see that oftentimes, women do much more than you or I could ever, or would even want to do? I can't speak for you, but as I ponder on the women in my life, a truly lazy or lacking woman has been rare indeed. Men, on the other hand... we have some things to work on.
My dear brothers, can we not start loving everything about our "real" women? Can we not start ogling our "real" women instead of those fictitious fantasies in the check-out line? Can we not send a message to the world that we are no longer interested in anything that is less (or more) than "real"? That we are no longer interested in setting our standard of beauty based on images that some artist found some way to create with a damn computer? Can we not declare that we're only interested in the very "real" women standing beside us and around us?
You'll remember that I started this post with a list of the execrable things that women often believe themselves to be. Do we not realize why women think, believe, and say these things? Are we really that daft? Are we really that stupid? Are we really that stubborn?
It is because of us, guys. It is because we leave them with no other option. We stop. We look. We comment. We joke. We implant those very thoughts into their way of thinking. We make sure they know that we agree with everything the media has brainwashed us to believe beauty to be.
I, for one, am done with it. I, for one, am taking a stand. I, for one, will no longer be stopping. I will no longer be looking. Why?
Quite possibly for a selfish reason. I am a heterosexual man. And, as blunt and uncomfortable as this may seem, I realized recently that I am starting to lose my attraction to women. Over time, and after seeing enough of this concocted and concentrated hog wash surrounding me, I've almost completely lost my ability to truly want a "real" woman. Most of us have. We have somehow started wanting what we know we can never have. We want what we see on the cover of Cosmo and Maxim. We want what is displayed across calendars and centerfolds.
And women know that. They see that. They feel it.
It's our own damned fault that we're all screwed up. Stop blaming the women. Stop expecting them to magically step up to the plate and be comfortable with who they are. We all must stop expecting women to fix this. When we honestly look at how women feel, what they think, and how they respond, we will see that it is all just a symptom of you and me.
A symptom of us stopping.
A symptom of us looking.
Nothing else.
If men never stopped. If men never looked. Do you honestly think women would have this problem? Think about that. Would these magazines even exist if men weren't interested in the fakeness splashed across their covers? Women would not care. They would feel no need to live up to a digital standard of beauty because there would be no reason to do so. Not if it was something we didn't want.
To the "real" women of this world. I owe you an apology, and I hope that the men of this world will line up behind me to offer you one. I am sorry. I am sorry for it all. And I promise you, I will change. I may not always be perfect with it, but I promise you I will change. I will stop stopping. I will stop looking.
I can't do this without you. We can't do this without you. If men are to change, we need you to change some things as well. You see, we do need you to believe in yourselves. We do need you to love yourselves. We do need you to stop comparing yourselves to super models and pin-up girls. We need you to be what women have been through all of history. We need you to be what women have always known themselves to be. We need you to go back to a time before the Internet. Before Playboy Magazine and before Marilyn Monroe. A time before Vogue or Elle. A time when far fewer women hated their bodies. We need you to go back to a time when far fewer women felt worthless.
We need you to be you. We need you to be beautiful. Because beautiful you are.
You know what else we need that would help everybody? Something that would help both genders in all of this?
I can't believe I am going to say what I am about to say. I can't believe I actually do want what I am about to ask. But I do. Desperately. So, I'm going to throw it out there. I think we need women to wear clothing that shows a little less instead of a little more. We need women to wear pants that are a little looser instead of a little tighter. We need women to put their boobs back inside of their shirts. I feel crazy even saying it (I'm a single guy for crying out loud), but maybe if women gave everybody a little less to compare, this whole thing would be a little easier for us all, no matter what our chromosomal make-up.
Don't get me wrong. None of this is to say that men should or can stop appreciating beauty. That would be unnatural. That would be impossible. It is not to say that women shouldn't make themselves as attractive as they can be. It is not to say that we shouldn't appreciate cleanliness and comeliness. No, it is not to say any of those things. It is only to plead with each of you. Let's bring this world back to reality. Let's make sure that the people we are attracted to are "real" people. Let's make sure that the women we stop and look at are "real" women.
That is the simplicity of today's message.
Like I said, I am a heterosexual man. And in my life, I have never known a time when men weren't constantly being programmed to want more boobs, more butts, and more legs. Asking for less of it goes against everything that the media has crammed down my throat for 30 years. Asking for less of it goes against everything I've been taught to believe that a man is. It is not an easy concept for me to choke down, much less advocate, but I'm going to ask for it anyway.
Because, let's be honest. It wasn't anything but the media that made me this way. It is the media that has worked endlessly to make all men this way. Can we not agree to that? Sure, we've all done our part in spreading the muck, but it all bubbles up from the same cesspool of forgeries.
What do you say, fellas? Can we take a step back, cordially give the media the finger, and start seeing "real" women as beautiful, just as they always have been?
And what do you say, women? Throw us a freaking bone? Give us something we can believe in? Give us the women we so desperately want to cherish? "Real" women with "real" love for themselves? All you have to do is stop. And look. Look at reality. Look at what you want. Look at what needs to be changed. Look at the problems you're making worse instead of better. And, never, not even once, let those self-loathing statements listed above enter your thoughts. Certainly never let them escape your lips.
Let's do this already. Men, own up. It's time. Women, help us do it.
With everything I have,
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS, I hold no shame in asking you to spread this message. If you agree with it, share it. Do not hesitate. If I have come to believe anything, it's that the power of numbers can be used to spark change. Post this on Facebook. Tweet it. Blog about it. Comment on it. Do whatever it takes to put it in front of the faces of men everywhere.
If you agree with it at all. If you see value in it at all. If you can get behind it at all. Share it. I understand that a large percentage of my readers are women. I know each of you know men. You really never know which man among them might read this and get behind it if you put it out there.
Men, imagine the power you carry in what you will say and do after you read this. Imagine the men of this world doing something truly noble to fix the lives and hearts of our women. Imagine the ability to see beauty everywhere we look.
Does anybody have the brass to swim against the current with me? Does anybody have the courage to say, "this is wrong, this is hurting people, and I will no longer participate"?
I hope so. With everything inside of me, I hope so.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Men or women. Whether you agree or whether you don't. If you do disagree, that's fine, just be courteous in your reply. Let's all have an intelligent and significant conversation about this.
We'd also love if you found a way to follow us. We have a lot of fun around here. And I promise, I don't use the word "boobs" all the time. Only when it's important.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I read this and was nearly in tears! How many times have heard these statements?! SAID these things about myself?! Beat myself up believing the lies!
This MUST STOP.
PERIOD.
October 25, 2010
Komen Gave Planned Parenthood Abortion Businesses Over $700K Last Year
- PP of Texas Capital Region received $62,886 from the Austin Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Idaho received $15,000 from the Boise Komen Affiliate.
- PP Association of the Mercer Area received $20,000 from the Central and South Jersey Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Albuquerque received $30,000 from the Central New Mexico Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Sandoval received $15,000 from the Central New Mexico Komen Affiliate.
- PP of New Mexico received $60,000 from the Central New Mexico Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Northern New York received $2,000 from the Central New York Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Central Texas received $45,000 from the Central Texas Komen Affiliate.
- PP of the Rocky Mountains received $7,163 from the Denver Metropolitan Komen Affiliate.
- PP in El Paso received $5,410 from the El Paso Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Grand Rapids received $14,661 from the Grand Rapids Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Greater Amarillo received $11,500 from the Greater Amarillo Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Nassau County received $75,000 from the Greater New York City Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Madison received $30,000 from the Madison Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Wisconsin received $42,077 from the Milwaukee Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Milwaukee received $13,143 from the Milwaukee Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Triangle received -$317 from the North Carolina Triangle Komen Affiliate.
- PP Health Systems received $21,000 from the North Carolina Triangle Komen Affiliate.
- PP in North Texas received $32,400 from the North Texas Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Orange and San Bernardino Counties received $90,805 from the Orange County Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Delaware received $39,987 from the Philadelphia Komen Affiliate.
- PP in Phoenix received $24,850 from the Phoenix Komen Affiliate.
- PP of Western Washington received $750 from the Puget Sound Komen Affiliate.
- PP of San Antonio received $31,496 from the San Antonio Komen Affiliate.
- PP of West Palm Beach, Florida received $36,000 from the South Florida Komen Affiliate.
by Steven Ertelt
LifeNews.com Editor
April 9, 2008
Washington, DC (LifeNews.com)
Related web sites:
Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation - http://www.komen.org
Eve Sanchez Silver - http://stopabortionbreastcancer.org
National Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer - http://www.abortionbreastcancer.com
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Words of Faith
"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5