April 3, 2009

leaning on my Father's arms

This is one of those posts I just don't know how to start.
It is a sensitive topic so I will try to be as delicate as I can.

3 days go I took my children to AWANA and felt a tingling to almost fire hot pain in my bre@sts. It caught my attention because I though Bub had scratched me. The pain came off and on that evening. By the time I got home I was hurting so bad I could not get in jammies fast enough.

That is when I saw the 'bump' it was a swollen Montgomery gland on my left side almost front and center. I thought nothing of it and took some Motrin and went to bed. Yesterday the 'lump' was bigger and now pushing things out of place. The pain was constant even with meds. I started to ask around on my m/b what it could be. Most common answer was 'early pregnancy can do that to the Montgomery glands'.

Hmm, well...yes. There is a chance this month of *that* being the cause and I *am* waiting to test once officially 'late'. OK. Good enough. Forget about it!

Then it started to bleed. Not much...just pin pricks of blood oozing from 3 small holes in the 'lump'. Still not hot. Still no oozing pus to say infection. And the pain was going away. Hot bath time! The hot bath did nothing but make the 'lump' mad and swell bigger and bleed again.

So this morning when I woke up at 3 am from pain, after waking every hour before that, I knew it was time to call the Dr.

I got into the Dr this morning...another story in itself! Dr did a bre@st exam and a through history. He agreed it was strange for the 'lump' to come up so fast. It wasn't presenting like an infection. It is sorta presenting like bre@st cancer BUT it is not attached to the tissue underneath so cancer is not as likely. Of course hearing that I am officially 'late' today the Dr agreed it could be an early pregnancy and ordered a wee test. It was negative and I am upset because that would be the least concerning option at this point.

I have a reversal surgery/PAP appointment on April 30 with Dr F and so today's Dr is like "well, take this antibiotic and if it is not better by then Dr F will need to do a mammogram/ultrasound to rule out cancer. Have a nice day."

WHAT! Just like that? "You could have cancer or it could be something else. Wait it out."
I was bawling as I called Hubby and told him. I said something nasty to him as well. Great. I am tired. I am queasy. I have a headache. I have been like this a week without snapping at people and now I jump Hubby's case. sigh

So I am waiting.
I am trying to learn patience.
I am learning to function on little sleep which is hard...I *like* sleep!
I am trusting God even more than ever.
I am leaning on the Everlasting arms.

Only He knows the outcome this will have.

If it is cancer then I praise the Lord we got health insurance started last Friday so it is COVERED. If it is cancer then I will strive to show His mercies and glories as I fight it. And even if I 'lose' that fight I still win because of His GRACE allowing me the hope of eternal life!

If it is 'just an infection' is can be treated! If it is a baby, Hubby has told me he would be happy to welcome home a new bundle of joy. The Lord has worked on his heart and opened it to the idea. Not saying we are 'trying' just open to the thought. The Lord has blessed us greatly this year with finances and for the first time we are not struggling to get by. PRAISE THE LORD!

I ask for prayers for healing and for patience as we wait this out.
The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want :)

April 1, 2009

Texas snow

This was taken in Jan I think a few weeks after I posted on
the ice we had got.
People from the north may not think much of our 'snow' storm
but this little mess shut down schools and roads for DAYS!
Texans, we can't drive in rain nor snow! LOL

bathroom remodel pics

Hubby is being watched by the children to make sure he does it right

Hubby removing the bath faucet and trim

this is Bub. he has his tools and is ready to be Daddy's helper

Bub is hammering away at removing the plastic wall board

We have now gutted the bathroom and removed the window.
There is dry wall around the bath area and new sheetrock on the ceiling.
No pics of that mess! LOL
We should be able to finish it in 2 weekends.
More pics to follow as we get into the 'pretty' part of remodeling.

March 31, 2009

feeling slightly cruddy

So of course I am online spending way too much time doing NOTHING.
I have a house to clean.
I have children to school.
I have a bathroom to mud and tape...and the stuff it do it.
I have way to much to do to feel this cruddy!!

Hubby keeps telling me to take it easy (them's fighting words round here!)
He is worried my headache will not get any better if I keep stressing on what isn't getting done. He is right. I am stressing over it. I can look around and see the junk on the floor and the couple piles of laundry and the bathroom fixtures now in my living room making it look more junky.

But today I am still queasy, my head is throbbing, my tummy hurts cause I *had* to mow yesterday and I really just want to crawl into bed and stay there. Oh but wait! I can't get into bed as the mattress is pushed off and in the floor because SOMEONE couldn't stand the dirty bed skirt and I can't lift the mattress back up.

If only there was a good reason to be feeling this bad.
That would make it worth it.

Oh joy...because I don't have enough to do. Bub just came in and said "me all soaked" as he ran to my bathroom. Time to go find the puddle.

March 30, 2009

bathroom remodel

We are well into the bathroom remodel. We got in there and of course found 'problems' we were not expecting but thankfully nothing major.

Hubby knocked out the drywall and strapped the shower up (for the first time!!) Yesterday he got the insulation in making it nice and cozy in there. We also added in new green board and re-rocked the ceiling.

Next weekend we will start mudding and taping. Hopefully we will get to tiling too.

We are doing this remodel in stages as money comes in.
Hubby calls it the "Dave Ramsey FPU remodel" because we are not putting it on credit cards (what is that?) and we are not busting the bank (or our backs) to get it all at once. It may take longer. It is not pretty to look at. But it is PAID for and will be nicer than if we tried to buy it all now. I have a few pictures to post later. I was not fast enough with the camera to get a before shot. But I did get cute pics of Hubby's helpers at work.

Financial Peace University is changing how we do everything!
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Words of Faith

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5