January 24, 2012


I'm working through the book "Boundaries". Right now I'm listening to chapter 3 on audiobook and really enjoying it. I searched several bookstores yesterday for a hard copy but everywhere I went they were sold out. I looked at FamilyChristian.com and was told they don't carry it anymore even though they list it online. Amazon has it but I didn't want to wait for shipping so Audibles.com it is. A friend found me a copy of the book for $1.50! I can't wait to read and listen at the same time. I also bought the sequal "Beyond Boundaries". This is going to be a year of changes.

Anyone else read the books? What did you think?

not compensated for any part of this post

January 22, 2012

2 years now

Not sure anyone but me cares anymore but this is the 2 year anniversary of finding out we were expecting our reversal baby. We had 2 weeks of enjoying that baby before we found out the baby was in my left tube and it was rupturing requiring surgery in Feb.  My  heart hurts still. I look around and think about the little 15 month old that should be toddling around my house getting into trouble with the other kids. I've been crying a bunch this week. No one really understans why I still mourn especially for such an early loss. I've watched my reversal sisters that shared my EDD go on to have their precious bundles and a few have another on the way. And I still have empty arms.

The younger kids still pray at times for another baby during bedtime prayers. My oldest doesn't think prayer works anymore.  She has prayed for the 3 yrs since my reversal for a baby and since I haven't managed to get pregnant or keep a pregnancy she thinks God doesn't care or hear her. Her faith is shaking. THAT breaks my heart. We have talked to her that God DOES hear but His plans might not include a new baby here on earth. She quotes scriptures to us about "ask and it will be given" and "babies are a blessing" so she feels we are not blessed or in His will. God that hurts to hear her say that! I don't know what to say.

I'm crying again. I've cried so much today I have a massive headache.
If anyone hears and cares I would love you to lift us up in prayers. Lord knows I need them.
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Words of Faith

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5