getting nervous

Saturday, January 24, 2009

getting nervous

I am still very sick. This bronchitis is not wanting to leave peacefully! If I am not well I can not have my TR... I will not postpone!

Also I am looking at Dr Perez's website and he is really booking up fast for Feb.
Since dh paid my hosp visit in full this week we don't have the deposit to hold a date...
we can't even really hold a date til the check clears.

Check should clear according to the email we got Jan 30-Feb 6.
so soon but so s-l-o-w.

dh sent off for his birth cert today and was told (from the website info) it may take 2 full weeks...
once again a s-l-o-w wait.

Not sure if it is enough time for me to heal...

I am panicking...just a bit

someone smack me with a 2x4!

I have overdone myself.
And now I pay the price.
it is currently 2:35AM. The house will be stirring in just hours...

I tried to be 'Mommy on the couch' instead of 'Mommy in the bed' today.
I felt good being out of bed. I showered and washed my hair to rid me of the horrible fever and sickness smell. I sat up and talked to Hubby. I took calls even though I had no voice. It was only church people and I was asking for prayers for a friend and not myself... doesn't that count for something? I didn't take my cough medicine because it puts me to sleep and I could not leave my children unattended. I ate cheese pizza and had milk...yeah I know great thinking for one with bronchitis! I watched a movie in the living room without being bundled up even though I was cold just to prove I am not 'that sick'. I have sat reading the internet since everyone was in bed...so about 4 hrs cause I am tired of sleeping. Had enough sleep for a week the last 3 days!

Now I am tired.
VERY TIRED.
I took my antibiotic.
I just took my cough medicine.
I am cold and hurting. I lay down and I'm thrown into coughing fits that choke me to the point of vomiting and wetting myself. Joy. I choked so long and hard that my dead-to-the-world-asleep Hubby woke up to pound my back so I could breathe. I propped up on pillows to near vertical and I still can't rest. Not comfy to sit that high up to sleep and I am still coughing though not quite as bad.

I am tired.
I am crying cause I am so tired.
I am crying from coughing so hard and not being able to breathe while doing it.
I am crying cause the steroids are still working and sending me into panic attacks. It doesn't help that a front blew through so there are 'noises' outside that to the already nervous sounds really threatening. *rolling eyes* Hubby has already put those fears to rest...now why can't my mind listen to him?

I want to lay down and snuggle Hubby and get warm and sleepy like normal and I can't.

I am not used to being this sick. I am used to being slightly sick and pushing through it. This time I can't push through. All it does is show how weak and winded I am. My house is a wreck. My children are running amok. There are things I must do. I have classes I can not miss. I have 3 days of Hubby being gone next week.

I can not be sick!
I don't like it at all.

I am off to Netflix to pick a nice boring movie to fall asleep to sitting up and trying to not cough.
Pray the medicine works fast with its codeine!

God provides even the small details

As everyone knows I have been extremely sick the last few days. In response to my family's needs the church has been providing meals at night.

In our house Friday night is pizza and a movie night. A night to just be together as a family and enjoy a good Christian movie. Tonight I figured would be the exception. Everyone has been preparing what we call 'sick food' you know good wholesome homemade comfort food like soups and casseroles. Delicious! But not pizza.

So when Hubby got home unexpectedly this afternoon I sent our oldest daughter across the street to fetch the mail. There was only one thing, a Netflix packet. As she was outside my phone rang with a dear church member asking for directions to my home as she was lost. Turns out she was just done the street and could see our daughter at the mail box.

Our oldest ran in with the Netflix packet and back out again as the friend drove up to greet her at the street (no one comes in just in case my flu is still contagious)

And what do you suppose the friend dropped off? Our usual order of pizza! Cheese and Pepperoni! We are picky pizza people and not many people know our likes. She had not called ahead to ask us what we wanted, but it worked out.

We sat down tonight to watch Wonders of God's Creation and enjoy some good pizza.

God is in the even the smallest details!

TAX RETURN ACCEPTED!

We got hubby's W2 yesterday and he filed the taxes last night.
I just got the email it was accepted by the IRS!

That means we will have the money in about 2 wks or so I am guessing!!
Now to get healthy from my current flu, get post-op notes and his birth cert!!!

I am so happy!!!

Several Ways to Make Yourself Miserable by Elisabeth Elliot

Several Ways to Make Yourself Miserable by Elisabeth Elliot

1. Count your troubles, name them one by one--at the breakfast table, if anybody will listen, or as soon as possible thereafter.

2. Worry every day about something. Don't let yourself get out of practice. It won't add a cubit to your stature but it might burn a few calories.

3. Pity yourself. If you do enough of this, nobody else will have to do it for you.

4. Devise clever but decent ways to serve God and mammon. After all, a man's gotta live.

5. Make it your business to find out what the Joneses are buying this year and where they're going. Try to do them at least one better even if you have to take out another loan to do it.

6. Stay away from absolutes. It's what's right for you that matters. Be your own person and don't allow yourself to get hung up on what others expect of you.

7. Make sure you get your rights. Never mind other people's. You have your life to live, they have theirs.

8. Don't fall into any compassion traps--the sort of situation where people can walk all over you. If you get too involved in other people's troubles, you may neglect your own.

9. Don't let Bible reading and prayer get in the way of what's really relevant--things like TV and newspapers. Invisible things are eternal. You want to stick with the visible ones--they're where it's at now.

prayers for me

I woke up Monday morning feeling a bit stiff and sore in my hip joints and my 'sit up' muscles. I thought I had just over exercised on Sunday. By that night my right knee was swollen and hurting. I got into bed and was almost screaming in pain as my left hip popped. Decided I was really over doing it. Tuesday I woke up with the sniffles and sore throat. By afternoon I had a little fever.

Wednesday I awoke with a 99.4 degree fever and a headache. Then from noon on my fever went up a degree an hour. By 2pm it was 102.5. At 3pm it was 103.5. At 4pm I was screaming in pain and seeing things with a fever of 104.

Dh came home and rushed me to hosp. The dr came in and did a quick talk and rushed out when he came back in he was in full body protection, face mask, eye shield, 2 layers of gloves, gown, and surgical hat. That scared us. He checked me more thoroughly (for meningitis) and decided I had the 'real' flu a new strain of flu that has no vomiting or diarrhea but attacks the joints with high uncontrollable takes antibiotics to kill it sometimes and other times it just must run its course of 3-4 wks fever and bronchitis.

He sent me home on some major drugs and this is my first day awake.

I need prayers for fast healing as dh is gone out of town since 4am and won't be back til late tomorrow. My meds knock me out. The steroids are making me very snappish and cranky. I can't talk without coughing and choking and the meds to help that is the one the puts me to sleep. My throat hurts too bad to talk anyways from ripping it coughing so hard. I am weak and dizzy.

The church is trying to provide meals for the nights. I have to try to get out though as we are out of things for meals in the day. I don't know how I can do it. We are a block away from the store and I could send my dds but I have no cash. Also I need to go to dh's work and pick up his paycheck so we have money for food (dh paid the hosp bills in full and that was my grocery money this week) His work is not that far but the bank is a 30 min one way trip.


I need lots of prayers

TESTING THE FAITH

TESTING THE FAITH
1 in 3 'Christians' says 'Jesus sinned'
Barna poll shows adults develop their own beliefs

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Posted: January 16, 2009
11:40 pm Eastern

By Bob Unruh
© 2009 WorldNetDaily

Half of Americans who call themselves "Christian" don't believe Satan exists and fully one-third are confident that Jesus sinned while on Earth, according to a new Barna Group poll.

Another 40 percent say they do not have a responsibility to share their Christian faith with others, and 25 percent "dismiss the idea that the Bible is accurate in all of the principles it teaches," the organization reports.

Pollster George Barna said the results have huge implications.

"Americans are increasingly comfortable picking and choosing what they deem to be helpful and accurate theological views and have become comfortable discarding the rest of the teachings in the Bible," he said.

"Growing numbers of people now serve as their own theologian-in-residence," he continued. "One consequence is that Americans are embracing an unpredictable and contradictory body of beliefs."

The results are a dramatic departure from the nation's foundings, when leaders held prayer meetings in the halls of Congress and attributed to Almighty God the victory in the Revolutionary War.

Barna noted the millions of people who describe themselves as Christian and believe Jesus sinned, or those who say they will experience eternal salvation because they confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior, "but also believe that a person can do enough good works to earn eternal salvation."

Barna's private, non-partisan, for-profit research group in Ventura, Calif., has been studying cultural trends since 1984. For this study, the organization randomly sampled 1,004 adults across the continental U.S. The study has a margin of error of 3.2 percent at the 95 percent confidence level.

For the study, "born-again Christians" were defined as people who said they had made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that was still important in their life today and who also indicated they believed that when they die they will go to heaven because they had confessed their sins and had accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. The results highlight the significant shift in beliefs held by Americans, the study said.

"For much of America's history, the assumption was that if you were born in America, you would affiliate with the Christian faith," the report said. Now however, "half of all adults now contend that Christianity is just one of many options that Americans choose from and that a huge majority of adults pick and choose what they believe rather than adopt a church or denomination's slate of beliefs."

Fifty percent of Americans believe Christianity no longer has a lock on people's hearts. Two-thirds of evangelical Christians (64 percent) and three out of every five Hispanics (60 percent) embraced that position, making them the groups most convinced of the shift in America's default faith.

In contrast, the poll showed the importance of belief was growing along with the number of options about what to believe.

"By an overwhelming margin – 74 percent to 23 percent – adults agreed that their religious faith was becoming even more important to them than it used to be as a source of objective and reliable moral guidance."

Forty percent of respondents who do not affiliate with Christianity confirmed the increasing influence of their beliefs.

The result "underscored the fact that people no longer look to denominations or churches to offer a slate of theological views that the individual adopts in its entirety," the report said.

By a margin of 71 percent to 26 percent adults "noted that they are personally more likely to develop their own set of religious beliefs than to accept a comprehensive set of beliefs taught by a particular church," the report said.

Nearly two-thirds of "born again Christians" adopted that stance.

"In the past, when most people determined their theological and moral points of view, the alternatives from which they chose were exclusively of Christian options - e.g., the Methodist point of view, the Baptist perspective, Catholic teaching, and so forth," Barna noted. "Today, Americans are more likely to pit a variety of non-Christian options against various Christian-based views. This has resulted in an abundance of unique worldviews based on personal combinations of theology drawn from a smattering of world religions such as Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, and Islam as well as secularism."

I am in just complete shock over this poll. I mean the foundation of Christianity is that Jesus was SINLESS and died as such to save us sinners. This is just so twisted. COME QUICKLY LORD JESUS!

What do you think of this poll?

Please tell me your thoughts.

Made it through the first days

I went to Connected Hearts (also called Open Hearts Ministry) on Friday night and most of Saturday. Whoa. That was more intense than I was prepared for! I can not really talk about it but I can say that once this course is over in 10 wks I will be a different person.

I continue to ask for prayer covering during this time. Hubby and I are doing this course and we have been told it can take a toll on marriage when both spouses go through it at the same time. It opens up wounds real and perceived and causes you to take responsibility for your actions only and stop taking the blame for things that were not your fault. So it really makes you open up and think and talk like never before to your spouse. Being open and raw and talking can sure get little things turned into BIG ISSUES if we are not careful.

I am also in a mentoring class and the teacher has asked for me to privately mentor with her. I am so grateful to God as I have prayed for about 4 yrs for a godly mentor to come along side me in a Titus 2 way. My prayers have been answered! Thank you God.

Now I must get off the computer and rest and pray because we have church tonight and I am supposed to be making a list of what I desire to be mentored in.