hello, goodbye

40 weeks ago my heart sang as two lines appeared on home pregnancy test 

and I said "hello" to a new life

1 week of pregnant bliss followed by 

1 week of a tugging "catch" in my hip that turned into a 

few days of horrid pain and trips to the ER 

and finally the OR

where I said "goodbye" to a life cut short

34 weeks later I sit here with heavy heart

I should be saying "hello" to my new baby

I have been up since 4am crying and feeling sick

a labor or the heart of sorts

coming full term with my loss

letting go

beginning to move on

from a due date that wasn't

“Irritability is immaturity of character. 

If you are subject to being cross and unpleasant with others for no apparent reason, 

you need to come face-to-face with the fact that you are thinking too much of yourself. 

After all, your feelings are not the most important thing in this world.” 

Lawrence G. Lovasik