January 24, 2009

someone smack me with a 2x4!

I have overdone myself.
And now I pay the price.
it is currently 2:35AM. The house will be stirring in just hours...

I tried to be 'Mommy on the couch' instead of 'Mommy in the bed' today.
I felt good being out of bed. I showered and washed my hair to rid me of the horrible fever and sickness smell. I sat up and talked to Hubby. I took calls even though I had no voice. It was only church people and I was asking for prayers for a friend and not myself... doesn't that count for something? I didn't take my cough medicine because it puts me to sleep and I could not leave my children unattended. I ate cheese pizza and had milk...yeah I know great thinking for one with bronchitis! I watched a movie in the living room without being bundled up even though I was cold just to prove I am not 'that sick'. I have sat reading the internet since everyone was in bed...so about 4 hrs cause I am tired of sleeping. Had enough sleep for a week the last 3 days!

Now I am tired.
I took my antibiotic.
I just took my cough medicine.
I am cold and hurting. I lay down and I'm thrown into coughing fits that choke me to the point of vomiting and wetting myself. Joy. I choked so long and hard that my dead-to-the-world-asleep Hubby woke up to pound my back so I could breathe. I propped up on pillows to near vertical and I still can't rest. Not comfy to sit that high up to sleep and I am still coughing though not quite as bad.

I am tired.
I am crying cause I am so tired.
I am crying from coughing so hard and not being able to breathe while doing it.
I am crying cause the steroids are still working and sending me into panic attacks. It doesn't help that a front blew through so there are 'noises' outside that to the already nervous sounds really threatening. *rolling eyes* Hubby has already put those fears to rest...now why can't my mind listen to him?

I want to lay down and snuggle Hubby and get warm and sleepy like normal and I can't.

I am not used to being this sick. I am used to being slightly sick and pushing through it. This time I can't push through. All it does is show how weak and winded I am. My house is a wreck. My children are running amok. There are things I must do. I have classes I can not miss. I have 3 days of Hubby being gone next week.

I can not be sick!
I don't like it at all.

I am off to Netflix to pick a nice boring movie to fall asleep to sitting up and trying to not cough.
Pray the medicine works fast with its codeine!

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Words of Faith

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" -Matthew 6:27

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." Psalm 126:5