40 weeks ago my heart sang as two lines appeared on home pregnancy test
and I said "hello" to a new life
1 week of pregnant bliss followed by
1 week of a tugging "catch" in my hip that turned into a
few days of horrid pain and trips to the ER
and finally the OR
where I said "goodbye" to a life cut short
34 weeks later I sit here with heavy heart
I should be saying "hello" to my new baby
I have been up since 4am crying and feeling sick
a labor or the heart of sorts
coming full term with my loss
letting go
beginning to move on
from a due date that wasn't
Praying for you Autumn!
ReplyDeleteMaudie
I am so very sorry. I was in your shoes almost nine years ago when we lost our third child. We had two children already and then got pregnant with our third. I was sixteen weeks along when he died. I was able to have our baby at home and was able to hold him and have a little funeral for him with just our family. It was such a hard yet peaceful time. I clung to the Hands of my Father. I trusted in Him because without Him I would have fallen to pieces. It has gotten so much easier over the years. I still think about him in heaven waiting for me. I will see Jesus and then He will give me my son. You will see your baby again someday also. Won't that be wonderful! May I ask you if you have named your child? If not, please do. Again, I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. I read a book after our miscarriage that said straight from the mother's womb right into the Father's arms. What peace that provided me. God bless you, my sister.
ReplyDeleteGod did bless our family with another baby. A little girl named Faith.