yes! that is what I am trying to say!

I called our former marriage counselor today seeking advice on my oldest daughter possibly having a developmental delay.

He asked how I was doing since we last were there and I said 'not good' and I tried to explain.
I said "well, Hubby is really growing and maturing in Christ and that is upsetting me. Not how you think...I dunno.... I feel like the less and more lost...." He jumped in with "you mean as he takes his role on in the house as spiritual leader you are struggling with what your new role is?"


YES!!! That is it, that is what I was trying to say in my post before! (mostly)
I don't have to the the 'strong one' now and after 12 yrs of being that I am feeling lost, useless, like a fake for not knowing who *I* am in this now.

It was so refreshing to have someone get what I did not know how to say. How could I know when I wasn't sure what was going on?!

I told him I may need to come in for a talk to sort this out. He said that was good and can't wait to catch up on how much my marriage has improved.

sigh
I am feeling rather peaceful now.
:)