parable of the 'isms

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
NAZISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you.
LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. What you do with your cows is no one's business but your own.
PROTECTIONISM: You have two cows. You can't buy a bull from another country.
WELFARE STATISM: You have two cows. You milk them and give them the milk to drink.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor hits you over the head with a brick, steals your cows, then shoots them for fun. You later discover that he is a Nazi.
BRITISHISM: You have two cows. They are mad.
BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU pays you €1000 to stop milking one cow, and offers you double the market price for the other cow's milk.
NEW DEALISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESSISM: You are associated with two differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non specified gender. You don't milk them as you are not sure it would be appropriate.