We were college sweethearts and married as soon as Hubby graduated (I dropped out another long story of teenage rebellion! LOL) We were not Christians though we were raised in Christian homes. We never thought about what that really would mean in our lives.
We planned on at least 6 kiddos and the typical house in the mountains kind of life. I was pregnant 2 mo after we married and hit with horrible morning sickness. We moved from TX to WA at 7 mo pregnant. I promptly went into preterm labor that the drs could
not stop from progressing for the next 6 wks. Birth was fast and furious and left me with PPD. This was the start of 5 yrs of hard times and severe stress. We were baptized by now but not walking the walk.
We left WA to headed home to TX for a bit when Hubby got a new job in AL. Our oldest was almost 2 and we decided time for baby #2. I threw out the Pill pack I had just started mid-month (first month on it) and 2 wks later we got 2 pink lines. Again I was hit hard with morning sickness and preterm labor at 32 wks for 6 wks. I then prolapsed after birth. Hubby freaked seeing my insides outside.
Back to TX we went in 2001 (our families were here). We were at rock bottom. Our marriage was on the rocks. Our lives were a mess. Stress is an understatement. Hubby switched careers and we had to rely on others to make it. Hubby was having a hard time trusting God to
provide and decided we were done. I had 'found God' in the meantime was just saying 'trust Him! look how much He provided already' but Hubby couldn't see it yet. So I trying out the new 'submissive wife' role got the Depo shot for almost a yr. In Aug '04 I stopped the shot
and by Oct I noticed I was missing my period for longer than the dr said it would take aftr coming off the shot and moody. Took a test and it was +. We were both excited! I went to a Dr (a Christian Dr) and she told me about BC and how the methods we had used are abortifactants and that possibly it had harmed the baby. I vowed to never use BC again and worried about what might have been babies for the few yrs I used the Pill and the Depo shot. We had many u/s trying to see something as my sac and placenta were right on track but no baby was found. We spent almost 6 wks going in and hoping to see a baby on the screen because our Dr said "with God ALL things are possible and I won't do a d&c unless I am sure there is no baby"
Nov 18, 2004, at what would have been the start of my 2nd trimester I was rushed into OR with a hemorrhage with an emergency d&c. The Dr assured me on waking from surgery there was NO baby as she does not 'do abortions'. We were told no more kids because the pregnancy
was a molar and she was talking chemo. The holidays hit me hard that yr. Our marriage was suffering. My body acted like I had birthed and I was hit with hormones and my milk came in. I was in a tailspin of emotions and it was not good.
Jan 2005 came and we dared to have "fellowship" ;) against Dr's orders. We felt 'safe' as I knew NFP and I was far from fertile. We left on Jan 10th for a vacation in CA. Jan 26 I woke up to a + test instead of my monthly. I was terrified. Hubby was in shock. We were afraid it was molar and we were going to go through it all again.
I must back up at this point or this makes NO sense. From the time of the d&c I heard God. I mean HE spoke to me in a voice I could hear! He told me I was to have another child, he would
be named "Isaac" and he would bring the happiness back to my family. Of course *I* being the all knowing nitwit argued with God. I said my hubby is DONE. There will be no more dc. Losing that baby just killed the want of children in us. God said "TRUST IN ME!" I relented.
The pg was great for 6 wks. Then morning sickness hit so hard I was rushed by ambulance to the ER because I could not stop vomiting nor breathe. They did a u/s and saw a 'too small for dates' baby. They were using the 28 days chart and I had 21 day cycle so of course baby
was 'off' a day or so. They gave me meds to stop vomiting and sent me home to miscarry. At 15 wks we had an u/s and found out the baby's kidneys had issues and Dr's brought up the words 'downs syndrome" and "termination" as things to think about. The tech asked if we wanted to know the baby's sex while making sure we understood that at 16 wks 'it all looks the same' and she jabbed the wand on and we had a PERFECT shot and NO guessing that Son was a BOY! We went to a perinatal Dr and monthly u/s and started seeking specialists for his kidneys.
Things were dandy til 27 wks when I again went into preterm labor. The drs managed to stop it til 32 wks. The perinatal Dr said Son was big enough at over 4lb to birth so he refused to stop it anymore. Lots of hosp trips and nurses not listening to dr's orders followed. At 38 wks I got food poisoning. I lost 20 lbs. My u/s showed my once very chunky then 10+ lb baby loosing weight and amnio fluid. 40 wks to the day the dr induced me. We lost his heartbeat as soon as my epidural was started. They did the scalp lead...no heartbeat. CnMW was turning me back and forth to keep what little heartbeat we could. I pushed him out at 7 cm. The cord around his neck 3 times! He was barely 6lbs and 22 in and had no fat, even 'brown fat', on him.
Hubby decided then and there as the nurse draped my legs to keep us from seeing a possible still birth that we were done. We were both terrified and in shock and making rash decisions. He was getting fixed. But his insurance didn't cover it and mine did. So I went in at 6 wks PP for a tubal ligation.
Remember I said God talked to me?
Well I am Jewish decent and #s mean special things. Isaac was born on the 40th wk of my pg. On the 40th week of the yr. On the afternoon of Atonement! His birth date on the Hebrew calendar was the same day that- Abraham offered Isaac to God, Noah released the dove that found land, and the Israelites escaped Egypt. God sure knew what He was doing
You can do the math- LMP Jan 6th 2005. the 'deed' was that day. period lasted 6 days. I got a + test on Jan 26. 20 days from period to baby. NOT ENOUGH TIME! Even my CnMW said the time didn't add up.
Anyways, I had the TL done. I knew the moment I awoke I had committed a HUGE sin! After all had GOD HIMSELF not just given me a baby when it was not time to conceive?! Had GOD not gave me back that baby in birth with no heartbeat for 5+ mins and he was healthy!? Had GOD not seen fit to let his kidneys be 'normal' but on the large side without need for further treatment!?
I was not worthy of His blessings. I had not trusted. I acted in haste and listened to the great deceiver. I spent the next 2 yrs destroying myself and my marriage with self hate.
In Jan of this yr Hubby was ready to leave me. We don't believe in divorce but he wanted a timeout and he was taking the kids. He was ready to commit me to the hosp. That is when I opened up to him about my feelings. He suggested we get it reversed but he was still positive he was done having kids because of my horrible pregnancies.
6 mo of trying to plan a reversal and worrying about money followed (and we are still trying to figure it out!) We fought constantly. The house we bought 2 yrs ago in Aug floods. We don't have insurance to cover it. The windows need replaced. This, that and the other is broken we bought a money pit and this life is not what we planned. I had turned back to God after Jan knowing I was forgiven but Hubby was not committed...not an unbeliever but terrified of trusting God and 'church' after his life growing up in it.
Then about a month ago after another almost walk out this time by me because I was done with him not wanting God in our lives we went to a godly Christian counselor. WOW!!!!!!!! God grabbed Hubby by the heart and pulled him back to Himself! The next week our girls (almost 10
and 7.6) are in VBS at a church just down from the one we were starting to attend and Hubby was not interested in. We met so many loving truly caring people and decided to give that church a shot. I went to small group (Bible study) after Sunday services and broke down and confessed our marriage. Hubby went to the men's group and came home saying 'not bad!' which is huge!! We have decided to join the church, we attend small group and Hubby has agreed to go to the marriage Bible study on Sunday before church.
Our marriage is AWESOME! We have some many people standing with us for the first time and Hubby can even see (and admit to) God doing this for us!!
We talk about more children for the first time without fighting. He has always said he would accept any babies God sends us without us trying for babies, but now he thinks maybe just maybe after the reversal another baby won't be that bad.
Only God knows what is in store for us!
We planned on at least 6 kiddos and the typical house in the mountains kind of life. I was pregnant 2 mo after we married and hit with horrible morning sickness. We moved from TX to WA at 7 mo pregnant. I promptly went into preterm labor that the drs could
not stop from progressing for the next 6 wks. Birth was fast and furious and left me with PPD. This was the start of 5 yrs of hard times and severe stress. We were baptized by now but not walking the walk.
We left WA to headed home to TX for a bit when Hubby got a new job in AL. Our oldest was almost 2 and we decided time for baby #2. I threw out the Pill pack I had just started mid-month (first month on it) and 2 wks later we got 2 pink lines. Again I was hit hard with morning sickness and preterm labor at 32 wks for 6 wks. I then prolapsed after birth. Hubby freaked seeing my insides outside.
Back to TX we went in 2001 (our families were here). We were at rock bottom. Our marriage was on the rocks. Our lives were a mess. Stress is an understatement. Hubby switched careers and we had to rely on others to make it. Hubby was having a hard time trusting God to
provide and decided we were done. I had 'found God' in the meantime was just saying 'trust Him! look how much He provided already' but Hubby couldn't see it yet. So I trying out the new 'submissive wife' role got the Depo shot for almost a yr. In Aug '04 I stopped the shot
and by Oct I noticed I was missing my period for longer than the dr said it would take aftr coming off the shot and moody. Took a test and it was +. We were both excited! I went to a Dr (a Christian Dr) and she told me about BC and how the methods we had used are abortifactants and that possibly it had harmed the baby. I vowed to never use BC again and worried about what might have been babies for the few yrs I used the Pill and the Depo shot. We had many u/s trying to see something as my sac and placenta were right on track but no baby was found. We spent almost 6 wks going in and hoping to see a baby on the screen because our Dr said "with God ALL things are possible and I won't do a d&c unless I am sure there is no baby"
Nov 18, 2004, at what would have been the start of my 2nd trimester I was rushed into OR with a hemorrhage with an emergency d&c. The Dr assured me on waking from surgery there was NO baby as she does not 'do abortions'. We were told no more kids because the pregnancy
was a molar and she was talking chemo. The holidays hit me hard that yr. Our marriage was suffering. My body acted like I had birthed and I was hit with hormones and my milk came in. I was in a tailspin of emotions and it was not good.
Jan 2005 came and we dared to have "fellowship" ;) against Dr's orders. We felt 'safe' as I knew NFP and I was far from fertile. We left on Jan 10th for a vacation in CA. Jan 26 I woke up to a + test instead of my monthly. I was terrified. Hubby was in shock. We were afraid it was molar and we were going to go through it all again.
I must back up at this point or this makes NO sense. From the time of the d&c I heard God. I mean HE spoke to me in a voice I could hear! He told me I was to have another child, he would
be named "Isaac" and he would bring the happiness back to my family. Of course *I* being the all knowing nitwit argued with God. I said my hubby is DONE. There will be no more dc. Losing that baby just killed the want of children in us. God said "TRUST IN ME!" I relented.
The pg was great for 6 wks. Then morning sickness hit so hard I was rushed by ambulance to the ER because I could not stop vomiting nor breathe. They did a u/s and saw a 'too small for dates' baby. They were using the 28 days chart and I had 21 day cycle so of course baby
was 'off' a day or so. They gave me meds to stop vomiting and sent me home to miscarry. At 15 wks we had an u/s and found out the baby's kidneys had issues and Dr's brought up the words 'downs syndrome" and "termination" as things to think about. The tech asked if we wanted to know the baby's sex while making sure we understood that at 16 wks 'it all looks the same' and she jabbed the wand on and we had a PERFECT shot and NO guessing that Son was a BOY! We went to a perinatal Dr and monthly u/s and started seeking specialists for his kidneys.
Things were dandy til 27 wks when I again went into preterm labor. The drs managed to stop it til 32 wks. The perinatal Dr said Son was big enough at over 4lb to birth so he refused to stop it anymore. Lots of hosp trips and nurses not listening to dr's orders followed. At 38 wks I got food poisoning. I lost 20 lbs. My u/s showed my once very chunky then 10+ lb baby loosing weight and amnio fluid. 40 wks to the day the dr induced me. We lost his heartbeat as soon as my epidural was started. They did the scalp lead...no heartbeat. CnMW was turning me back and forth to keep what little heartbeat we could. I pushed him out at 7 cm. The cord around his neck 3 times! He was barely 6lbs and 22 in and had no fat, even 'brown fat', on him.
Hubby decided then and there as the nurse draped my legs to keep us from seeing a possible still birth that we were done. We were both terrified and in shock and making rash decisions. He was getting fixed. But his insurance didn't cover it and mine did. So I went in at 6 wks PP for a tubal ligation.
Remember I said God talked to me?
Well I am Jewish decent and #s mean special things. Isaac was born on the 40th wk of my pg. On the 40th week of the yr. On the afternoon of Atonement! His birth date on the Hebrew calendar was the same day that- Abraham offered Isaac to God, Noah released the dove that found land, and the Israelites escaped Egypt. God sure knew what He was doing
You can do the math- LMP Jan 6th 2005. the 'deed' was that day. period lasted 6 days. I got a + test on Jan 26. 20 days from period to baby. NOT ENOUGH TIME! Even my CnMW said the time didn't add up.
Anyways, I had the TL done. I knew the moment I awoke I had committed a HUGE sin! After all had GOD HIMSELF not just given me a baby when it was not time to conceive?! Had GOD not gave me back that baby in birth with no heartbeat for 5+ mins and he was healthy!? Had GOD not seen fit to let his kidneys be 'normal' but on the large side without need for further treatment!?
I was not worthy of His blessings. I had not trusted. I acted in haste and listened to the great deceiver. I spent the next 2 yrs destroying myself and my marriage with self hate.
In Jan of this yr Hubby was ready to leave me. We don't believe in divorce but he wanted a timeout and he was taking the kids. He was ready to commit me to the hosp. That is when I opened up to him about my feelings. He suggested we get it reversed but he was still positive he was done having kids because of my horrible pregnancies.
6 mo of trying to plan a reversal and worrying about money followed (and we are still trying to figure it out!) We fought constantly. The house we bought 2 yrs ago in Aug floods. We don't have insurance to cover it. The windows need replaced. This, that and the other is broken we bought a money pit and this life is not what we planned. I had turned back to God after Jan knowing I was forgiven but Hubby was not committed...not an unbeliever but terrified of trusting God and 'church' after his life growing up in it.
Then about a month ago after another almost walk out this time by me because I was done with him not wanting God in our lives we went to a godly Christian counselor. WOW!!!!!!!! God grabbed Hubby by the heart and pulled him back to Himself! The next week our girls (almost 10
and 7.6) are in VBS at a church just down from the one we were starting to attend and Hubby was not interested in. We met so many loving truly caring people and decided to give that church a shot. I went to small group (Bible study) after Sunday services and broke down and confessed our marriage. Hubby went to the men's group and came home saying 'not bad!' which is huge!! We have decided to join the church, we attend small group and Hubby has agreed to go to the marriage Bible study on Sunday before church.
Our marriage is AWESOME! We have some many people standing with us for the first time and Hubby can even see (and admit to) God doing this for us!!
We talk about more children for the first time without fighting. He has always said he would accept any babies God sends us without us trying for babies, but now he thinks maybe just maybe after the reversal another baby won't be that bad.
Only God knows what is in store for us!
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